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This is Julie’s Life Story Hello I know I haven’t belonged to this site for that long but I feel secure and safe here so this is why I feel I able to write about my life in the hope that if there is anyone else like me out there they can read my story and think “Yes she made it so can I” I grew up in a children’s home from the ages of 12 till I was 18 and whilst I was in care I had to do a lot of growing up because from then on in I was alone as a child and a teenager. Whilst I was in care we did have staff but I didn’t know if they really cared about me or if they were just doing there jobs. At 15 years old I was taking a lot of overdoses I was crying out for help but just like everything else that was going on in my life I was very much on my own, so when I took the last overdose someone finally listened to me and decided to put me in a psychiatric unit and told me that I was going to be there for a two month assessment and that I was to go into group therapy but I requested one to one therapy but again they wouldn’t listen so I gave up and decided that I didn’t want there help so I began cutting my arms instead of the overdoses but again they just ignored it and told me that there was nothing they can do for me. Again I felt alone, I went back to the children’s home and carried on self-harming, then I began a college course and again I was alone it didn’t matter to them that I was trying to help myself. When I reached 16 their policy was to put everyone into a flat in a block where there were staff if you needed them but they once said to me I could have left care when I was 16 because I could cook, clean and look after myself but because I was on a full care order which meant the court signed papers until I was 18 so I couldn’t leave care until I reached 18 years old. Emotionally I was a mess but they didn’t seem to care about that, that’s why I said at the beginning about the staff caring or their jobs. While I was in a flat where the staff were a ex boyfriend of a girl that lift next door attacked me and I got him sent to prison but when he got out he sought is revenge I got a flat when I left care and he attacked me again but this time he raped me I didn’t do anything this time because he would kill me next time. Because of the life I had I decided the only way to get attention and love was to sleep around but at 21 I got pregnant. I had a baby girl I named her Chantelle, things didn’t work out because I was an emotional mess so I had a tough choice to make and that was to let her go so I had her adopted that was the hardest decision I will ever have to make. I stopped self-harming whilst I was pregnant but as soon as I let Chantelle go I started again. I had a few relationships but nothing serious until one day I met a woman and started a relationship with her and that lasted 3 years it was then I decided that I wanted a relationship with a woman rather than a man. My family were not bothered about my sexuality but it was then I found that most churches and something to say about me and the relationships I chose. My Mom died in 2000 we didn’t
have a great relationship but it still hit me hard I wished things had
been different with us but because of being in care and also having
my daughter adopted it did put a strain on our relationship. I met my current partner soon to be my wife in Sept 2002 we met on the phone and started talking we lived 3 hours away from each other so it was difficult for us to meet each other but Kate came down to me and we started a relationship together. We decided that I would go and stay with Kate before Christmas then we see if the relationship would stand me moving in with her. We had a few up’s and downs whilst I was there but we then decided to have me stay for 2 weeks over Christmas until she went back to work. When Kate was driving me back on the Sunday after spending the week together I knew something was wrong when I went to my flat my door was wide open and my flat had been robbed I later found out that it was the so called neighbours upstairs who were on drugs who I thought was my friend she knew I was going away and how long for, later I found out that someone had slept in my bed and had a bath that morning before I got home. When I saw my flat like that a mess the first thing I said to Kate was I can’t stay here so Kate asked me to move in with her because I didn’t know where else to go my dad has only got a 2 bed house and my younger brother lives with him so realistically I couldn’t live with them, I moved in with Kate but we were then forced to look at our relationship and also forced into a position that we didn’t want to be in. I have lived with other people and Kate hasn’t the house that I was moving into was her family home and I was her first female partner so I guess you could say things were up in the air and we didn’t know if things would work or not. In 2004 I managed to do a part time course in Mental Health I passed it this was the first time I had ever completed anything like this so I then decided to go for more. I then did the first level of a counselling course which I also passed and hoping to go for the third level in Jan 2006. I have been free of self-harm for almost 2 and half years now, me and my partner have decided to have a blessing in July 2006 we have now been together for 3 years and we love each other but things haven’t been easy we were going to get married but her sister doesn’t want us to plus it’s an expensive do so we decided to go for a blessing instead. Just to finish I would like to Thank Kate for being there for me when times are hard and also when times are great I owe my life and my all to her. I love you Babes xxxxxx I’m going to end with a couple of my favourite quotes “Feel the fear and
do it anyway” Jules xxx
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