i am sorry if i offend anyone by all this,but i really do need to get this off my chest.right now i see no point in life ,mine in particular,i see no future ,just an eternity of the same ,and i dont think i can do this anymore.the main thing is i have no kids.i have had 4 miscarriages and now it seems i wont ever as i am not even getting pregnant now,i am 36 and i am getting really scared.i was meant to see a specialist ,but i missed the appointment ,and i feel they will refuse to see me at all now.i am terrified they will tell me it,ll never happen for me ,because if that happens then i will want to die and i am too scared even to do that,despite how much i wish for it sometimes.i have no proper job thanks to the bloody anxiety,i cant travel,i have to depend on other people to be around and i feel pathetic.i would never be allowed to adopt because of these problems either.i feel that this is it for the rest of my life,and that thought makes me want to end it all,and i cant .i feel so angry that this is happening to me .yeah its self pity but i have had so much shit ,losing dad ,the rapes ,the panic and agoraphobia....what did i do to desreve this.then i feel so guilty,i have a fab man,a great mum ,a cuple really good mates.a home.and i am not housebound ....just scared.i am sorry.