Let me Introduce myself

[panicgirl]

I am 42 years old born and raised in Houston Texas all my life and at 19 I got panic attacks and got rid of them until I was 25 then they came back really bad and I had them for 4 or 5 years and went to a group that healed me and I became med free and anxiety free till I was 35 and that is when I got hurt on the job and had a shot in my spine and was told to go home right after and that left a hole in my spine and caused a leak and I had these bad headaches and by the next day I had a full blown panic attack and it took 13 weeks for work comp to let me get a blood patch to fix the leak and by then It was to late with the panic attacks THAT I STILL HAVE TO THIS DAY and then 6 months later I had strep throat and thought nothing of it and after 2 months went by i had a knot on my neck that did not bother me at all and 1 nite i was reading a doctors med book and thought i need to see a doctor fast and so I went the next morning and was put on antibiotics and after 2 weeks nothing and then on to a ENT that took time to get in and when I did he gave me the LOOK and that is when the fear got worse because I new from that look CANCER and after many neg test I had a biopsy and out of 42 lymph nodes 12 had squamous cell cancer. So after my long battle with treatment of Radiation I was ever so sick and in pain from my back Injury that was put on hold till I was done with my cancer treatment. After a while it was fighting work comp with my back and it took them forever to let me have the test I needed to find what was wrong and then it happened they approved the disckogram only after 4 years i think it was and that found the problem and then came surgery and had a spin fussion L4L5 and that failed and also had a staph infection in my spine after the surgery and then a year later my hardwear was removed and i ended up with a spine staph infection again and now here i await yet another fussion to be done AND THE LAST BUT IM SOOOOO CHICKEN BECAUSE 2 BACK SURGENS TOLD ME i WOULD DIE IF I HAVE THIS SURGERY BUT I NEED TO HAVE IT BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE A DISK AND IM IN A GREAT DEAL OF PAIN ALL THE TIME. Shit why me is what I say .
Anyway this is me and this is all the hell i have been through and still going through. Sorry it was sooooo long. Thought it would be good to let you all know about me and the kind of life i have. Im depressed and panic crazy woman trying to get well.

[petal]

Dear Panicgirl

You've had an extremely difficult time. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of what you've shared with us.

I'm sure all your pets give you much love and wonderful companionship while you've been going through all this. I'd say that things would have been much more difficult for you had you not had all your pets. They can be so comforting, excellent company and are nice to you when you're feeling pain or are down and lost.

Anyway, thank you for telling us about yourself and your story. I think you've won the jackpot finding Phobics Awareness. The people who use this site are truly wonderful. You'll find lots of support, shoulders to cry on, and people to laugh with.

Very warm wishes to you Panicgirl.

With much thought
Petal

[Gord]

<span style='color:red'>Dear Panicgirl</span>

<span style='color:blue'>Just a very gentle hug to ease your pain.......</span>


<span style='colorrange'>(((((((((((((((((</span> <span style='colorurple'>Panicgirl</span> <span style='colorrange'>))))))))))))))))))</span>


<span style='color:blue'>Love</span>

<span style='color:red'>Gord</span>
<span style='color:green'>xxxxxxxxxxxxx</span>

[Hez]

<span style='colorurple'>Oh my goodness Panicgirl, I am so sorry you've been going through all of this. I hope everything gets better very soon!

A warm hug to you!

Hez</span>