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Thread: Toilet Phobia

  1. #1

    Toilet Phobia

    Hi everyone, im new to this forum and I just stumbled across this website as I was looking for somewhere to maybe find people with the same problems as me ? I dont want to bore people with paragraphs after paragraphs but ill try and keep it as short as I can . Im a 22 year old lad who had a bad experience at secondary school which resulted in soiling myself. I thought nothing of it. As a few months passed my mind could not shake of the constant thought of it happening again and I got referred to counselling which helped and I was back on track. Essentialy being my old self again. Then out of the blue i started getting flashbacks and nighmares of it happening again. I was at college at this stage and because of this I quit college because I couldn't bring myself to go or use any toilets(public) as a few years went on I ignored it and it got worse. ive not had an accident ever since that day even though my mind is certain it will happen. Ive had CBT 2 times and its not really helped me in regardsto leaving my home. But I understand it more slightly. This may sound really sad or whatever but I honestly havent walked or been to my local town for 3 years and it takes 5 mins to.walk there. Im just terrified. Ive been like this now for 4-5 years and I cant work because of it. Ive had a GF for 4 of those and shes stood by me through thick and thin. But it also worries me she may turn around and just tell me she cant do it anymore ( which I understand ) to reiterate. I cant use public loos because of the fear of going and the feeling when I do go makes the panic 10x greater. I cant leave the house incase it does happen ( in my mind its 100% going to happen ) I worry when others use my home loo. I am someone who thinks people look at me in public so the social factor is there too. Im.not good when it comes to.new people in general im quite a shy person. So I do worry about what others think massively. I can add more if needed if people need the information. It was hard for me to come.on here and write all of this but I think its best to get it all out than keep it all in. And hopefully this will make more people open about my specific mental issues. Im.sorry if this was too long ! Regards - lucas

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Hi Lucas, no idea if you're still around as this was a few months ago now! I also stumbled across this website looking for a similar thing. There are a few posts about it on here (albeit quite old) and on other sites so it does appear to be a common thing - you are definitely not alone! I'm so sorry for what happened to you and that it affects your life so badly.

    My problem isn't so severe, but I can completely understand how it can escalate to not leaving the house and worry that that's where I'm headed. More and more situations become a trigger and I run out of ways to avoid them! My fear is basically wetting myself in public (which I haven't since I was about 10 , more than 15 years ago) and using public toilets for the 'other' thing. I can completely relate to its links with social anxiety and the judgment factor, for me it's always worse during times of change or when I'm meeting new people. I nearly dropped out of university because it was so bad in the first year. I did actually get a lot better and managed to go traveling last year and although I did I have a couple of bad anxiety attacks (one of which left me stranded in the middle of Cambodia because I couldn't get on a bus), with two months of every related fear I could possibly imagine that isn't bad! However for some reason I've now taken massive leaps backwards and think it's time to seek help again.

    I'm afraid I can't offer much in terms of advice as I have absolutely no grip myself on dealing with my anxiety, especially when the symptoms match the fear, but if you're still there I'd be happy to be a sounding board. Is there anybody here that can give some advice or has a story to share?? I'm really keen to talk to people in the same boat and have no idea where to start. Sorry for the lengthy response!

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Hi fellow sufferers!

    I almost started crying when I read this because the exact same thing has happened to me and I've never in my years of dealing with it thought anyone else had the same problem. IT SUCKS. I wet my pants in 5th grade, but the problems only came up in 6th grade but it was so bad. I couldn't go to school, and on rare occasions that I did I couldn't stay in class because I was POSITIVE it would happen at any second and I would be stuck and afraid. I missed that entire year of school and it's made each year more difficult because of it. It's been almost 5 years (wow...time goes by quick) since that happened. I never did do it again, but still, it's so traumatic right?! It escalated to more anxiety about other things and then depression. I'm doing better now but it's always in the back of my mind. Transiting to high school made it a little easier from being in the same building the long nightmare happened in.

    So many people helped me and I went to multiple therapists but they all saw it as this little thing. "oh I thought you had a REAL issue!" (ONE THERAPIST ACTUALLY SAID THIS AFTER THE MILLIONS OF ANXIETY ATTACKS I HAD FOR YEARS).

    I've had too many anxiety attacks to count but it's worse in a place where I can't (or feel like I can't) leave in a "socially correct" way. Anytime this happens like at assemblies I feel so TRAPPED and I have the fight or flight thing and I feel like everyone is starring at me and it makes it so much worse. I have ANXIETY then about HAVING ANXIETY.

    Anyway it felt good to know there are others like me out there. Keep fighting!!!

    If it makes you feel better I just gave a speech in front of my whole grade, I would have never thought in a millllllliiiiiooooooonnnnn years I could do that.



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