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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    5

    driving fear taking over my life!!!

    hey guys

    Im from south africa.I am very desperate for advice,help and a support system.

    i dont think anyone understands a driving fear better than us who have the fear

    i have my license for a year now and when i was a learner i had to beg family and friends to take me for lessons.i got so frustrated of waiting that i just decided to go with the driving school.they say to go for a certain amount of hours with an instructor and practice with a family member-i did not have this.my cousins and siblings went with parents for extra practice i dont understant why no one wanted tp help me.i gotmy license on my second attempt and was so excited and then the excitement turned into fear

    we have a big family car and one day i drove it and when i came into my drive way i scratched it so on top of been so nervous,that made me feel worse and i stopped driving for 7 months.In september my parents bought me a car and i did drive it a few times,like 7 times!i feel like if i had an auto car i wouldnt be nervous and i did ask for one but my dad said to get a manual and get used to it but who is suffering now?me!!i drove my car a few times with my dad and just hated it because he would insult me and it means alot to me because i have A fear so i decided to go with my driving instructor which was worse!if i took off slowly she shouted at me or if i made a mistake he would laugh.i know right,disgusting coming from an instructor

    i feel like i have 1% confidence left and dont want to drive with these people again else i will never drive again!when i sit in the car in my drive way i feel calm and if i am a passenger

    my idea is to drive around the block for 10 minutes every night because its quieter.mmy problem is that i stall and maybe thats why i am nervous but the nerves are so bad that im even scared to drive out my drive way.

    how do u stop stalling?will it get better?please give me advice with the anxiety and is it a good idea to go at night?
    i dont want to stall in traffic and they hoot at me and make me more nervous and there are many trucks in my area in the day.who ever drove at night?
    can someone please explain how to do forward bay parking

    i have not driven for 1 month now and refuse to start over with help!the thing is i cant get a job or see my boyfriend because of my anxiety and its taking over my life because i dont go out at all

    please please help me:|hypnosis did not help me and i have no money to buy things on the net because i dont work.im 20 im sappose to enjoy my life now not when im married

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    27
    Hey Shimona! I get extremely nervous when driving! I only drive if I absolutely have to, and when I do drive it is not very far. You have the right idea about getting in the car and driving around the block. The best way to get over doing something uncomfortable is to take baby steps. Because of my agoraphobia I was housebound for quite a while. I would not drive anywhere and I would barely go outside. I finally had enough of the anxiety running my life and I started taking baby steps. First I would go sit in my car several days in a row. Then I would drive to the end of my street and turn around and go back to my house. I woulddothat for a week. Then I would drive all the way around the block and come back home. After doing that several times, I would go farther and farther away from my house. I still am nervous when I get in the car, but the fact that I am actually going somewhere is an accomplishment in itself. Something that also might help you is to get someone you trust and have them ride with you. Everytime that I would get in the vehicle with my husband I would always make him drive. When I am feeling brave I will take the opportunity and I will drive with him beside him. That way if I do get nervous I can just pull over and let him drive. My advice to you is to push yourself to get out and accomplish what you want to accomplish. Trust me, anxiety will completely take over your life and it will rule it. I am 28 and I have been dealing with severe anxiety since I was 13. There are times when I feel great and there are times when the anxiety completely takes over me. Take one day at a time. If you have a bad day, that is okay. It does not mean that tomorrow will be bad too. Take everything one step at a time.

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    5
    thank u so much for twhe advice.i really give up and dont know what to do with myself any more.i wish i never had this fear and would just go out there and drive and be free.i wish i had any other fear but this because it interferes with my every day life.i dont know when last i have been out with friends.i want to enjoy my life now not die and look back and regret.im always at home coz of this and it makes me depressed.my dad puts me down so much that i will never wanna drive with him again.if i tell my bro im nervous he should go easy on me he tells me to jumo out and he will drive.thats not fair.u lucky you have a supportive husband and bless him for helping u.i had a friend who used to help me she drove like 3 times with me and i was very comfy but she commited suicide and that just puts more strain on me.i feel so lost and confused and like im gonna be no one in life.my friends are also scared to drive but they have people o get them to places and i am very independant i would like to get from place to place by myself.i havent seen my boyfriend for a long time all because of this and he cant come home because my dad is too protective.the only way for me to make our relationship work is for me to drive and see him.i cant get a job,study,model,meet people all because of this and its frustrating and i do get angry at this but when its time to drive i rather stay home than drive because the fear is so scary i feel like throwing up

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    27
    Have you tried to see a therapist? Sometimes they can be very helpful in helping you figure out the root of the problem. You need to surround yourself with positive people. When you have a phobia, especially one that completely alters your life, it can seem like your whole world is falling apart. Don't give up. I went quite a few months where I felt great. For the past couple of weeks I have been extremely anxious and my anxiety is completely running my life right now. Today was an especially bad day. I try very hard to think positive. For me I know that eventually I will get myself under control enough to go back out in the public. It's just going to take time.

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    5
    hey!

    how have u been?

    I have been feeling worse about this whole driving thing.i cant see a therapist because i dont have money because i dont work.its ard getting a job because of this driving.i have been feeling really upset about this lately and i really want to take control and make my life better but just feel so overwhelmed with the fear

    should i drive at night?i havent driven alone before and have no one to help.i want to drive before the 1 jan so that i can start next year living a happy life

    my fear comes from stalling.i stalled in the past and scare it will happen again and what puts me off is that people hoot behind me wich makes me more nervous and i stall again.i cant get an auto because my parents already bought me a car

  6. #6
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    27
    The problem with us that suffer with severe anxiety is that we tend to do what is comfortable for us. The longer we stay in our comfort zones, the harder it is to get out. With the driving anxiety you need to do it a little bit at a time. Every single time I get behind the wheel, I am a nervous wreck. My husband laughed at me the other day because I took the long way around town, just to avoid stopping at any stop lights. (I get really nervous if I have to wait.) When I go out to drive, I ALWAYS make sure that I have an escape route. For example, I think of all of the places that I can pull into if I get really nervous and just can't drive for a minute..like parking lots. There are parking lots everywhere. If you get nervous while you are driving pull in some where and take a breather, just relax and when you are ready to get back out on the road, try again. If you are more comfortable driving at night, then go drive at night while you are getting more comfortable. Then if I were you I would go drive early in the morning. Early in the morning just as it is getting light out, there is not a whole lot of traffic. That would be a good time to get more comfortable. I would also just pick a time during the day when it is light, and drive around the block. Taking small steps and taking anxiety one day at a time is a good way to go. If you go out driving tomorrow and you panic and have to go home, don't let it stop you from trying again. Baby steps.

 

 

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