Welcome to the Phobics Awareness Forums.
Panic 468x60
Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    1

    Need to share what I'm going through.

    I'm so happy this forum exists! I'm tired of feeling crazy, alone, and surrounded by people who don't understand/don't take me seriously. To be honest, I had a panic attack just thinking about reading this forum because I was afraid it would be filled with trolls posting photos of you-know-what. So beginning to seek help on the internet was a really big step for me.

    It started when I was in my late teens. I don't know what triggered it, but it could be related to my dad being an alcoholic and getting sick a lot. It seemed to get worse over time. Lucky for me, I have an iron stomach and I haven't gotten sick since I was a kid (I never even get nauseous), but the thought of seeing it or hearing it is unbearable to me. I get massive panic attacks, many times in public which, as you know, is very embarrassing.

    Some ways that it affects my daily life: I avoid public restrooms that are not single-stall, and even single stall ones too a lot of times. I don't like to go out at night, especially considering I live in a college town with a lot of amateur drinkers and drug-users. I tend to avoid bars and parties after a certain time. Walking down sidewalks makes me anxious. I love film more than anything, but I can't watch anything that involves illness, drug use, alcohol consumption, pregnancy, trauma, emotional drama, or extreme violence, and even avoiding those, they still manage to sneak it in there more than any non-emetophobe would ever realize. I hate theme parks, fairs, sporting events, and outdoor festivals. I hate being around children and pregnant women.

    One time, before I had a car, there had been two separate vomit incidents on the sidewalk on my street. So I just didn't leave the house for days. After missing way too many days of classes, I finally called the city to come clean it up. They must have thought I was crazy! Luckily it was a small town and they must have been particularly bored that day.

    Lately things have gotten way out of hand. I had the bad idea recently of getting a cat and my cat currently has some sort of stomach bug and has been getting sick all over the house. For days I've been avoiding going into any parts of my house except for my bedroom (which has a door to the outside, thank goodness.) This means I haven't showered or brushed my teeth in days, haven't really slept much due to holding in my pee, and have eaten nothing but a couple of cafe bagels in the past few days.

    It would be one thing if it was just me dealing with my own crazy, but it's starting to really affect my relationship with my boyfriend. He doesn't understand at all. It's really starting to wear on him how I'm so anxious and moody all the time. How every time he feels ill, I ask him every few minutes if he's going to vomit/if he's nauseous. How we can't watch TV or a movie together without my turning around and plugging my ears every time someone bends over and asking him "are they vomiting? It it okay to watch?" He's frankly sick of having to clean up after my cat these past few days and thinks I'm ridiculous for not wanting to leave my room. I'm sure he thinks I'm horrible for not taking care of my cat and I'm afraid he'll never want to get more serious with me because I'd be a horrible mother. (What on earth would I do if I got pregnant anyway?)

    Today he told me "You really need to get help." I know this. I've known this for a while. But I'm SO TERRIFIED of exposure therapy which is the only type of therapy I'm aware of for treating phobias like this. I mean, I can't even look at a cartoon of someone vomiting without getting anxious! Even if I wasn't afraid of therapy, I couldn't afford it anyway because I don't have insurance. I REALLY NEED to get better. If anyone had any practical advice or any success stories, I would be so indebted to you for your help and kindness. I need to save my relationship. I want to be able to watch movies and to go out again. I want to be a mother some day.

    Sorry about this long post. I've never had the chance to talk about it before. Thanks for listening.

    -A

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Wales
    Posts
    4
    Heyaahh, I can totally relate to your post and experience. I suffer with depression and anxiety and have done for years, always thought that it'd get better or go away. How wrong was i? Horrible. I lost friends because of it and i never really asked for help. But i do know what you're going through. Feel free to private message me or something, would be good to share my story as well.

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Near London
    Posts
    3
    Hello :-) I am emtophobic to but I seeked help for it, I go to a therapy session once every 2weeks and she preforms whats called emdr and its worked amazingly well on me, before I couldn't go out at all or socialize, I have lost loads of friends due to them not understanding but I'm getting better and I'm loads better than I was. There are other therapy you could do other than exposure therapy. And I have a cat to but I googled and you can't get a sickness bug off of animals :-). Might be worth googling hypnotherapy and emdr and also local therapists near you on google to :-) hope I have helped a bit and if you want to chat more then message me :-) xx

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Pittsburgh
    Posts
    9
    I'm looking for the same help as you. This has to be the hardest thing that I've ever had to deal with, and I've been dealing with it since I was in the 6th grade (I'm currently a college sophomore.) I don't go out and do things, and my roommate had a drinking party at my apartment and I can't even sit on the one couch we had because she said a kid got really drunk and was sleeping there after he threw up. And he slept with MY BLANKET. I washed it 3 times and I still can't have it on my bed. THis is starting to really ruin my life. Not to mention, I always feel like I'm going to get sick when I haven't in 4 years now. It's like I'm worrying for no reason. I would also like to hear about more successful methods other than exposure therapy. Like Jemz321 mentions emdr, I want to try it, but idk if it's going to work or not. I'm just scared and alone and I'm pretty sure it's only getting worse for me too.

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Panic Large