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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
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    1

    Please Help, I need it!

    Okay,

    I am 20 years old and I am in serious need of help for both my anxiety and depression. My mother died when I was 4, and my father died in 2010 just 6 days after my 18th birthday. The tragedy of it all has left me crippled emotionally, and I rarely know where to go. I was grateful to my best friend who was there for me through it, and missed her terribly when I left to California. Now, here's where the trauma sinks in.

    I received a pension and life insurance from my father's company in regards to his passing. Because of this new found lump of money, and a year had passed, I decided to move back with my friends. Worst mistake of my life. For the first couple of weeks everything was okay aside from how much her and her boyfriend fought, but it slowly became more than that. It became personal. She was suddenly selfish, always needy, always making me sympathize with her. Because I love her I would spend thousands upon thousands of dollars over the course of months trying to get her to smile, or be happy, but most of all to APPRECIATE ME! I never felt like she ever actually cared for what I did for her, and more importantly care for me. It was always too easy for her to get the money, and I just thought she was depressed.

    When we moved out together, found another place with a renter, I stopped helping her with everything. I stopped with rides, endless cash flow, and started questioning her behavior. Within months of this quasi seperation our friendship began to crumble beneath me and I didn't know what I had done. She started to disappear, she started to lie blatantly and she rarely feigned interest in my life. Today I googled the term "sociopath" and have finally gotten my answer.

    I am here because of the amount of money lost on someone so cruel and devious, and the amount of emotional pain it is causing me as I type this. Does anyone have any advice or ways to help me cope with another loss?

    Thank you,
    Court

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    2
    i have a friend who lost both parents and an aunt in the same year. life is hard. i don't know if you are religious or not but i know that when we came down to earth we were never promised an easy life just that it would be "educational". when the bad times get worse and choices i have made make me feel worse i have to get out a notepad and begin to list the blessings that i have received. that way i don't see the bad but see the good. life is full of good. just look in the mirror and you will see the greatest gift of all, your life. being alive is a blessing. sometimes i struggle to see that but when i do i am happy. i don't know what to say to take the pain away and their is no magical cure to it. time doesn't heal all wounds but it does lessen the pain. i know that is something that you don't want to hear but it is true. we have to learn from our experiences and look at what they can teach us. we then just have to look forward. there is no way to change the past and anyone that would do that to you doesn't deserve to be in your life. its hard to accept and hard to believe but its true. you are strong. and don't try denying it. many would have totally lost it after losing both parents but you have kept strong and carried on. continue to look forward, learning from your mistakes.

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    10
    I don't see your problem truth be told. I'm sorry for your lose of parents. But as far as your friend you live and learn! Move on. She is no friend. So all I'm understand is that you lost an old close friend. Everybody has had friends like that and it hurts. I hope you can find more decent better friends and learn you don't need to spend money making people happy! You should start by looking for new friends, which I'm sure you can

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    2
    I am very sorry for your losses. And I’m sorry that your friend would use you so cruelly without regard for you or your feelings. Obviously, I would not have joined this site if I was not in need of some reassurance from others about my own anxiety, but I thought perhaps I might help you with yours. First, I’m glad that you are at least cognizant of the fact that your friend is indeed using you. As much as it may pain you to do, you should really consider cutting all ties to this person. She obviously is causing you an undue amount of stress, and she’s not treating you like a decent friend should. If you are able to recoup some of your losses by getting back items you purchased, that would be good, but I wouldn’t count on it happening. She doesn’t seem the type to give up her free stuff, and since you’ve said they were gifts, she’s not obligated (at least legally) to return them. Just know that in the future, if someone really cares for you, they won’t have you buy them things to show it. I don’t think she’s necessarily a sociopath, but clearly she is opportunistic, preying on an individual that she knows she can get funds from. My advice is to stay away from this person, and tell yourself as I do every day: “Life is too short to allow my anxiety and depression to control one precious second of it!” You have to get to the point where you simply refuse to let it win, to let it keep you from doing the things you want to do. And if you’re like me, you have to keep coming back to that point, again and again. But I look at my husband and my daughters, and I know I have to keep fighting.

 

 

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