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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    3

    Unhappy I hope this is allowed...

    Hello - I hope this is an appropriate forum to ask my questions - if it is not my sincire apologies. I shall remove the post right away.

    I met this guy through friends. I knew he was agoraphobic when I met him, and he was very very shy (until he had a few drinks anyway!) We found out we had loads in common and were just as "weird" as each other i.e taste in films and music.

    I started messageing him (cos he cant make first moves) and he started to message back, and we developed our friendship. I heard from our friends that he had feelings for me and had no clue or confidence with what to do.

    This week, we have spent pretty much all day everyday together, him staying at mine (just cos it was easier then him walking home) and meeting up. I found out that when he met me in town it was the first time he had walked there on his own in years, and this was the first time he had every stayed away from home for more then a night. He would text me to chat - only 1 other person has his number.

    Im worried that he is pushing himself too hard and that i am enableing him and setting him up to fail - I'm worried about pushing him too much unknowingly, but I also dont want to patronise him ( i am a stupidly postive person and that can sometimes comes across that i am making light of serious issues) . I'm worried if I did fully commite to a relationship with him, it could be unfair on him as I would pretty much hold all the cards...I do really like him, and honestly have never clicked with someone as much as I have and I have told him I felt I could have strong feelings for him (which he was happy about). A part of me likes being the one "in control" but a part of me is scared that I would have to take on all his issues which I do not want to do.

    I supose I am asking if if thhis could be a healthy relationship - or if it could end up doing him more harm then good? or does is this just a typical boy meets girl thing and i'm reading too much into it? is there any advice or common mistakes to avoid? Or is this maybe just the right time for him to try new things, and put into practice all the coping techniques he has?

    I am so worried as i really care for him and do not want to do anything that could make him doubt himself more.

    Thank you

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    uk
    Posts
    16
    i sufer from agoraphobia myself but do not feel qualified to fully comment but what i would say is that if he has managed to get out that that is a good thing. i could not really say about weather a relationship would be good or bad, as with agoraphobia it seems to differ from person to person as to what can help them. as i said though anything that helps get a person out is normaly a good thing. agoraphobia can be a hard thing to fully understand so i would say deffinatly look into it. i can only realy comment as someone who goes through it but i do know it can be very hard for the people around me. i hope that somehow this helps and sorry if its not quiet what you were after

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    11
    This is nice post to read ...........

 

 

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