I am so tired of missing out on life in general as well as spending time with my family. It has been almost 3 years since I left my house with the exception of a visit to the ER for a severe panic attack that required 2 days in the hospital. I have a therapist who comes to the house to council me and she has helped quite a bit. There are days when I waver between giving up and accepting that this is my life, or forcing myself outside to see if it is really that bad. Most days I just settle for giving up and accepting this is the way it is.
I missed my last great grand babies birth 2 weeks ago which is just one more major event in my families life that I have missed. Even though my family has been understanding and supportive I still feel guilty. The guilt quickly becomes anger and slowly fades into depression. This cycle is self destructive and I recognize that, but finding a way to cope seems impossible.
This phobia has started having a direct effect on my health as I have not been able to go to my Dr for high blood pressure and heart check ups.
Hopefully finding a support group with people who are agoraphobic will help me find some ways to cope.