i pushed everyone (90%) in my life away because i found them more or less worthless/pathetic.

i regret hang done that, not because i missed them on an individual level, but because i miss the support and security.
so now i'm in a constant state of depression.

i see people hanging out (partying/doing stupid s***) and i get panic attacks.
even though the things they're doing are pointless, i FEEL the lack of my social interaction, seeing them all interact.

all of this anxiety has me tired, and all i feel like doing is watching movies.

i want things of worth and value, and there is nothing/no one around me matching that description.
i love my family, but i'm too self depreciating to even be around them.