I'm not sure how you spell the name of the bugs to which I refer, but it's either one of those. I really don't want to Google because I know images will be at the top of the results.
The sight of these things produce tears and hyperventilation. I think the fear may have started from about the age of seven or eight. Then, I woke up, in my pretty little pink silk gown (I remember because it was so awful...) and saw a roach on my shoulder. When The Mummy (with Brendan Freiser) was released to DVD, my family and I watched it in the dark. I thought that my mind was playing a trick on me; I was sure that the scene with the flesheaters was messing with my head because I felt something crawling on my leg. I finally looked down to find a waterbug on me. I think both these events played into my fear of the bugs.
Even now, as I talk about them, I itch and I feel like they are crawling on my ears, chest, back and face. Clearly, they are not because I am writing this! But they just make my skin crawl. I just found two of them in a dish I was about to wash (I'm so glad I saw them before I grabbed the dish). I had to get my fiance to throw the water out of the dish, containing the bugs, and I told him I couldn't use the dish anymore. He wasn't too pleased. But I feel like the dish is ruined now. I won't be using it, and I don't want it washed with other dishes.
I can hear these bugs a mile away. My family is amazed because I will tell them that I hear one (or a few). They don't believe me until one finally comes out, scaling the walls. It's almost like I've developed a better sense of hearing, so that the nasty things can't take me by surprise. I've seen these things spin around in c***les, jump, and I know it may sound ridiculous, but I just find it out how... wherever I am, waterbugs are too. They've been around for a long time and for good reason; they are not dumb things. They are shiny and quick. As ridiculous, again, as it sounds, the shininess freaks me out.
Is this really a phobia? I can't see where it makes me live differently. It doesn't interfere with my life. However, I itch, I look around constantly, and again, to see even one will cause crying and hyperventilation.
I don't want to be afraid anymore. I don't want to itch. I don't want to keep looking around, as I am doing even as I write this post. I'm really uncomfortable right now.
Does anyone else share this fear? Can therapy of some sort help with this?