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  1. #1

    Untitled

    im not sure where to start this so I'll just start writing
    i was watching a movie and though unknowing if this “idea” was
    somehow inspired by the film i thought it anyway.
    i thought of sitting at some coffee house
    with a pen and a notebook just writing anything i thought,
    anything i saw and so on
    not knowing if it was for some therapeutic reason or just to do it
    either way the thought seemed appealing
    but the reason im writing this right now was to capture a feeling
    a feeling i had just a few mere minutes ago
    though i feel that feeling slowly losing me
    and for whatever reason not writing it when i felt it
    i still want it captured
    i thought about what i would write sitting there in that coffee house
    random thought conjured by the things i would see
    romantic thoughts about a cute girl who like usual
    didn't notice me... or didn't notice me the way i noticed her
    then my thoughts got deeper
    taking myself out of the coffee house and just what i was thinking then
    sitting on the porch inhaling a cigarette
    though thinking still about what i would write
    something beautiful...
    I imagined a glass bottle splashing against a cement wall... beautiful
    I pictured a flame from the embers to the tip... beautful
    I pictured an old man grinning widely as he flatlined
    the last bit of breath leaving his body again... beautiful
    i can't explain the way i felt at that time
    everything was empty
    i guess you explain the experience as an out of body one
    i pictured myself over myself
    and i felt the emptyness
    i felt the meaninglessness
    and all i heard were the sounds around me
    i don't know the purpose of writing this down
    or what i will do with it once its finished if things like these
    ever really have endings...

    if anyone reads this just know
    i wasn't sad not depressed not anything
    and im not now
    I just... i just am
    if i were to ask anything from whoever might read this its
    to for one moment picture something beautful
    not the cliched rainbow or an ocean or something like that
    picture something chaotic find the beauty in something not meant to be so
    and imagine yourself looking over yourself
    feel the emptyness
    feel the meaninglessness
    and focus on the sounds that surround you
    dont be sad don't be anything
    just be


    while writing these words down I go back to the question
    of what this is and what i should do with it
    not that it matters
    maybe this is just something for me
    to remind me of that feeling
    to see something beautiful
    and feel the wonderful nothing the reality of it is
    i don't want this to sound like im saying
    everything beautiful is meaningless
    im not trying to say anything
    but the feeling i felt in that moment was something i want to remember
    no matter how pointless it is

    you don't have to understand this
    you don't have to like this
    just, like everything else, it is what it is...



    in a closing note just know i won't edit this ill let it be exactly how it is when i wrote it... errors and all ill let it be what it is
    ill maybe post it some random place on the internet and let whoever reads it get there own meaning from it

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Posts
    11
    thank you for sharing

 

 

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