Hello I'm New & Looking for Advice

[MelissaG]

My name is Melissa and I just started researching forums for anxiety today. It is not really inhibiting my life but I have noticed an increased amount of anxiety. My anxiety is mostly worrying about my boyfriend when he does not call or text during the day and I never know when he will be home. I almost never call to check up on him because I am not that kind of a girlfriend. I always think of the worst case scenario even though I know he's fine. I think part of the problem is that he is in the Army and wants to be a Police Officer, which I know is his passion and I fully support him, but always think how dangerous the jobs are. I wish I could just mellow out and not always have negative thoughts in the back of my mind. Hopefully someone on here has some advice or can relate to my situation. Thanks

[mark439]

Hi Mel
Because we care,worry comes along "for the ride" (if you will).Not sure where your belief system is, but i would give it to God.Alot of times in life(i know i have ),we worry over things we cant control.Like in this situation with your boyfriend,your not with him...Is he safe?What will happen if???(and so on)But God is with everyone ,at all times,at all hours,every second of everyday.Who better to give your concern and worries to,for your guy...There is no one but God.It prob. wont go away completely,but knowing your giving it to the one who CAN truly watch over him,take care of him..ect..That and that alone,right there,should help Peace Doug

[Rgib95]

Hi Melissa,

My father was in the Army. He retired with 24 year of service under his belt, in fact. I remember many times sitting at the dinner table and speaking with my mother about how she dealt with his time spent in Vietnam (1.5 years away from home). She told me that at that time, there were several other spouses, girlfriends, and family members who were able to get together regularly to provide support for one another.

I don't know if you're in a position to do that, but having a support group is always a good thing. First, you'll come the realization that you aren't alone in what you are feeling and dealing with. Secondly, you'll have some other people to lean on when times are really tough. And third, you can get some great advice from people who have already walked down the path you are taking. But, I have to agree with dpop65... putting it in God's hands is about the best that you can do for yourself and him.

You don't want to have him worrying about you when he needs to be focused on his job. It's not like he's a salesman in a department store or something (not that that isn't important, it's just not as dangerous). He has a very important job that requires his undivided attention and focus at all times. Have faith and be supportive. Many others have been through this before you and have managed just fine. You can do the same!