Anxiety, panick attacks, agnoraphia and god knows what else is what i'm going threw. I must say i'm very proud of myself for pushing myself as much as I did and getting to where I am now. I would'nt leave the house bc i was so terrified and scared to death to get in a vehicle, well many times of trying and baby steps I can now get in the vehicle and not think about it. I'm still working on going into place and walking down the road, it's not going very well. I try and try and try and it just seems to not get any better. I had a break down today, i'm just so tired of this that I cant take it anymore. I called many of doctors today crying and asking for help. If I can get myself to be comfortable going into place then I can make it to the doctor and get the medication and help I need. I'm also terrified of medication so I know when I get to that point it will be a battle, but I gotta take one day at a time. I'm to the point now that if I was to be put on medicine now I would have the courage to take it cause i'm so ready to get better. I feel as if I can just walk right down the road or walk right into a place but when I go to do it anxiety hits me like a ton of bricks and then I give up hope. It's a battle I'm determined to win one day and I hope to god I do, sometimes I believe this battle is way stronger than what I am. I need to build my confidence back up and determination, I need support to do that and I'm not getting none where I'm at.
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