Those with BPD are often taught 'The Five Steps', which is a coping technique that has been shown to be an effective form of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and which is something that I think anyone can beneift from trying to integrate in to their life.
The Five Steps are as follows:
1. Stop/HALT: Just stop and breathe for a moment. Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? The HALT feelings are physically-based and only temporary, which is something positive to remind ourselves of.
2. Determine What The Problem Is: There can be more than just one problem, but even so, identify the problem or problems and write them down on a piece of paper.
3. Come Up With THREE Possible Courses Of Action: Start with one of your problems and come up with three (and only three -- not a hundred or just one) possible things you could do.
4. Figure Out Which One Is Best For Now: You don't have to make a life-long committment right now and if things don't work out quite the way you were hoping they would, then you can keep working over the steps.
5. Do It! This is said with the assumption that your chosen form of action is a healthy option. Nothing will happen to change the situation or problem until you actually DO something, no matter how small that something may be.
Putting these five steps in to practical use will take time and patience, especially if you have become accustomed to dealing with problems in a negative of self-harming way. Don't get upset if you can't master them straight away. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again the next time
A good way of preparing yourself for using these five steps is to pick a recent event where you dealt with a problem or situation in a negative or ineffective way and then to apply the five steps to it.