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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    9

    Can someone HELP. My son 22,suffers from social phobia

    Hi,my son is now 22 and has social phobia, the only time he will go out, is when he has to see the doctor,then i have to go with him,he spends all day on the PC playing games,he seems fine talking to different people online, if anyone comes to the house he will hide away,i don't know what to do, to help him,he has no friends.except online,my life is on hold because of this,i was going to move away to live with the new man in my life, (my son would have to come as well)but i don't think my son would be able to cope with it,also he wont speak to my partner,there's no reason not to, except for his phobia, people say i do to much for him,but they don't understand hes got an illness,hes a good looking boy and clever,Ive got a nephew who is 38 and he suffers from the same,he is still living with his parents,has no friends,i don't want my son too be the same at that age,what can i do:?: any suggestions please

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    6
    have you tried asking him why hes afraid of the world. (im sure u have you are his mom) but has he had anything happen to him to make him afraid of being social?

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    9
    Hi, no nothing has happened to him,to make him like it,it seems to be in the family,as well as my nephew, my dad was the same.

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    U.S.
    Posts
    13
    Is he on disability for it?

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    9
    Yes he is on disability,benefit, just wish there was more help out there to get him out the house,so he could be independent

  6. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    34
    Hi, Sue.

    I can closely relate to your son. I used to be much worse, but what got me through most of it were my family and friends. I was the first to admit I had a problem, but it was they that pushed me to get help. It took a lot out of me just going to a doctor on a regular basis and taking medication. After a while, my mother suggested I look for a therapist. And I did. It was tiresome for a few months...relearning how to think about myself and others. Soon after I began seeing small positive results, it was my mother again who suggested I look for a local support group for social phobias and anxiety.

    That was the best resource available to me. It gave me a good reason to get out of the house and interact with others. And although there was anxiety in it, the overall benefits of regularly attending the support group meetings were remarkable. A while after that, I went online and fond websites such as these that really helped in finding different ways to help me overcome my social phobias and anxiety.

    It will always be difficult, living with anxiety. But there are many resources to make it easier. I hope you find some answers on this site...

  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    9
    Hi,Alice
    my son gos to see someone too talk to once a week from a group called italk, hes been going for about 2 mths now,but he don't seem to be making any progress, i have to walk there with him,,as he wont go alone.
    most of are family don't live near us, and he doesn't have any friends.i really don't know how to help him to have some sort of life,etc work,girlfriend,friends.thank you for your post and its good to know that you have had positive results.maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel.

  8. #8
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Nottingham
    Posts
    1
    hi sue

    Im aqualified practioner in alternative therapy

    Ask your son why does he lock himself away and what does he feel when he locks himself away from others , & how does he feel when he can talk to people on line or on a phone , what ever he may be feeling their are three things that are attached to a issue and they are feelings,thoughts, images if you think about a time in your life that was speacial to you notice what happens those three things pop up dont they, even if you think at a time that you didnt feel great if you went back to that memmory notice again what happens you experiance feelings & emotions , images every thing we experiance has emtions attached to them so thats the best place to start on the memories and talk to him dont tell him and go back to the first time he locked himself away. i wish you all the best

    if you would like to talk in private or want me to assist to help you & your son tel-07414695912 at any time
    Last edited by andrew1970; 11-14-2011 at 06:05 AM.

  9. #9
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    819
    Hello sue!

    Just checking in on this thread, how is everything nowadays? And as a by way, welcome to Phobics Awareness! I find it amazing that you are getting on this site and doing research on this, and actively trying to help your son through his difficulty with social phobia. Many of us feel very isolated and alone, and in fact are. The fact that you are willing to go to such lengths for your son and finding out more about it, is a testament to how committed you are to keeping your son's mental health healthy.

    As you can see, working through this issue is a process since there isn't a one step easy solution answer. And getting through will be especially frustrating since you are trying to reach him by bringing him out, which is his nemesis at the moment. Don't give up, make sure you have something for yourself to keep yourself healthy, and have confidence that this can be overcome.

    Andrew, I'm glad to have you on this forum, and would love to hear the backstory as to how and why you found us! Welcome to our community!

    Take care!

    Colourgirl

  10. #10
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    9
    Hi Andrew,Thank you for your post,my son says he feels safe when he locks him self away,when hes in company he has thoughts that he is not liked,ugly etc...but he wont explain much to me,it good to know i can phone you for advice if i need to,many thanks Sue

 

 

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