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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    4

    Where Do I Even Start? Respond Please!

    Hello Guys, I found this site when I was doing a search of the internet, looking for people who have the same problem as me. I'm a cutter. Wow, being as how Ive never told anyone, it actually feels quite good to type that, like a weight is taken away.
    See, I'm scared. My best friend, who I love dearly, has noticed something is up with me lately, though I doubt she has any suspicions even close to the truth.
    I'm class valedictorian, both my parents are together, we aren't losing our house, and I haven't had a terrible break-up in over a year. So why am I cutting? I'm not sure, I can't even remember when I started, I just know that it helps. It helps with the stress, and the pressure, and it takes away some of the emptiness.
    But I need help. Several times I've tried to tell my friend, only to have her staring at me with those concerned eyes. Only to chicken out because I just don't want to deal with the judgment, with all of the criticism.
    If you have ANY advice, I truly need it. Please, I'm begging right now, help me. I'm terrified, and lonely, and I have no idea what to do...

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    California
    Posts
    10
    Hey there!
    First, welcome to p-a.org, I hope you find the help you need. My name's Emily and practically everyone on this site reminds me of me, even you. I recently started cutting and you are now the first one I've ever told because I fear the same thing you do- judgement. Today being my birthday, I've decided to make a resolution: to stop cutting. Cutting wasn't the original problem I came to this site for, but hey, why not kill two birds with one stone? How about we make a deal? If I don't cut, you don't cut. Here at p-a.org we're all in this together, at least, I like to think so.
    Advice? Well there are tons of methods to stop cutting. There's the butterfly concept, where you draw a butterfly where you usually cut and name it after someone you love. Everytime you cut, you wash off the butterfly, because you killed it. Or everytime you want to cut you hold an ice cube in your hand until it melts. There's also that rubber band trick where you slap yourself with a rubber band everytime you think about cutting.
    Hope you feel better.

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    4
    Butterfly's, I like it. Thanks so much! And yes, I think that's a reasonable deal, you don't cut and neither will I. Thanks for the tips on how to make quitting so much easier and for me, I think the butterfly thing will make a HUGE difference. Instead of just cutting at random, I'll be reminded that that person, Tom(One of my dearest and closest friends), would not want me doing this.
    Thanks again, and I hope you get the help you deserve, not only for cutting, but for anything else bothering you.
    If you ever need to talk, message me.
    *~Jess~*

  4. #4
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    819
    Hello Tears4Jess and CATeen,

    How are you both doing on the cutting issue? I don't know as much about cutting because I don't suffer from it, although I briefly started cutting during an intense time in my life. I remember it was a way to relieve stress, extreme anger, and gain control where I felt I had none. I really like some of your suggestion CATeen! Are they working for both of you?

    Take care!

    Colourgirl

  5. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    belfast, Northern Ireland
    Posts
    45
    hey, i used to be an extreme cutter, my arm, legs and stomach are left with pretty extreme scars, when i had my baby i had her name tattoed over the scars on my arm to make sure i didnt cut again, (that was always my target area) ever since iv had her name on my arm i havent cut. i have lifted the stanley knife but iv never done it. even before i had my tattoo, even before i had my wee woman i was preggers and i wanted to cut but i just couldnt. i couldnt i just didnt want to put my body through that while i was carrying my child. it was the best thing that ever happened to me. it just takes you to think of someone you care so much about and someone that you know cares so much about you that if you cut they would feel it too. i wish you the best of luck. i really really do xx

  6. #6
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by Tears4Jess View Post
    Hello Guys, I found this site when I was doing a search of the internet, looking for people who have the same problem as me. I'm a cutter. Wow, being as how Ive never told anyone, it actually feels quite good to type that, like a weight is taken away.
    See, I'm scared. My best friend, who I love dearly, has noticed something is up with me lately, though I doubt she has any suspicions even close to the truth.
    I'm class valedictorian, both my parents are together, we aren't losing our house, and I haven't had a terrible break-up in over a year. So why am I cutting? I'm not sure, I can't even remember when I started, I just know that it helps. It helps with the stress, and the pressure, and it takes away some of the emptiness.
    But I need help. Several times I've tried to tell my friend, only to have her staring at me with those concerned eyes. Only to chicken out because I just don't want to deal with the judgment, with all of the criticism.
    If you have ANY advice, I truly need it. Please, I'm begging right now, help me. I'm terrified, and lonely, and I have no idea what to do...
    you're not alone. i started self harming at 12 and its been two years. now that i think about it i dont even know how it started. all i remember was the after feeling. it numbed the pain. i dont know where the pain was from but i still felt it. my parents recently found out, its been really hard and i still feel like im constantly being judged. i see a psychologist and a psychiatrist but i cant even open up to them because ii still feel judged. i dont think the urge will ever go away but all i can say is find distractions. whether its going to 24hr kmart at 2am or something like reading. i hope this helps

 

 

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