my best friend, my number one, the one who is always there for me who knows me like no other, saw my cuts. thing is i never told her about how i had done this, she had never seen the cuts or scars but all of a sudden in the middle of class we're sitting there and she grabs my arm and she's like "Jessicaaaaa!" and i was like "dude, my dog!" and she was like "but i love you so much! why would you do this?" and the whole time she's like examining my arm, and i couldn't help but smile...i mean on the inside i was freaking outttt! but i just smiled and was like "dude you're crazy" and i got up and went to the bathroom. when i come back she wrote in my agenda "i wuvv yeww sooo much!" i again just laughed it off and she just sat there idle the whole class, literally it was the worst. while she was sitting there i was like "i was clean for 23 days" and she was like "23 days?" almost like it was nothing, i think she was mad though, i think she was mad i never told her, or that i was doing it at all..i dont know..anyway now i'm mad paranoid shes gonna tell someone..i'm driving myself insane just thinking about it! i hate this so much...i want it to be gone and never come back. i think i need to start over, i mean a new lifestyle, new city, new me...start fresh, you know, like a clean slate. well i'll be off to college soon (not soon enough!!) but until then i have no idea.