I just want to be heard.

[JustAnotherPerson..]

I hate you, honestly. You wonder why? Maybe because anytime i try to tell you whats going on you never listen. I've tried and tried nothing ever works. you're set it your ways. Why do i have tto be a prisoner, why do i have to feel like shit all the time. Why can't i ever be happy. you say you can't please me but thats a lie. i've told you i just want some freedom. i figured after the panic attacks and passing out and trips to the hospital you'd realize how serious it is, its not just some little game or me trying to get attention. i admitted i'd cut myself, took pills and contemplated suicide yet you still don't listen. whats it gonna take dad. whats it gonna take for you to finally open yours eyes up to your little girl and realize i'm not so little anymore and i'm not perfect. I'm broken because of you. i'm isolated in this little room. You say i can talk to you about anything but when i say what i need to say, you get mad and don't listen. you're always right? no, this time your wrong. You make me feel so terrible about myself, you always put me down. maybe thats why i do half the things i do, but i honestly i don't think you care how you make me feel as long as your living your life. which is the only thing that matters, huh. All i ever wanted to do was make you happy, make you proud of me, but I'm realizing that never gonna happen. I can't do this anymore I always come in second best, i'm sorry i'm not good enough for you. i didn't ask to be brought into this world. i wish you'd just listen. /:

[thecoolapples]

Sorry may i ask do you have a disorder of some kind?? I have OCD and it sucks, if you wanna talk you could add me as a contact

[Gray Matter]

Don't stop Ranting and raving. You are not done yet, You are still are holding back some important facts. He seems to think you are just going through a young adult phase of self relation "learning who you are." That is why most kids revolt against there "Stupid" parents because when you turn 26-30 you realize they were right on most actions in raising you to a respectable smart adult. The other side to the coin is what you are implicating that he wants you to be his "Little" girl still.
Life is even tougher when you get out of High School. Some of what he does could be hardening you up for the real world. I was abused as a Child I found out and in reality it made me one mean tough motherfucker in school, even though I am going off of what people told me how I was. I was "CHURCH" abused as a child and all that hate I built up over the years turned me into a person that evenly broke down and now it all is reverse. Boy that was a bad example. Well type more ranting and raving because I know you are not done yet.

[CATeen]

I'm listening.

[Gray Matter]

There has got to be something triggering him off. His treatment of you is actually covering up lack of control somewhere else in his world, Do you have pets? Are they scared of him? How does he treat any of your friends that visit. Now pay attention to see what sets him off. Does He Drink Alcohol? Does he do any thing as illegal drugs. There is so much to trigger him off. You might look real close to your mother. He might just need some attention that your arguing is so out first he thinks you might hate him.
Just rereading your first entry he might feel he failed at raising you and is now just trying to Not Love You Because it hurts so much you did drugs and cut your self. It reflects on his bringing you up as a 3 year old then 5 year od then 7 and all the sudden you ack out, Now I will say this I have no kids I am saying all this due to 15 plus years in Mental Illnesses. If you stop acting out and act more like your age he should first be Leary like you are trying to trick him somehow. The answer will then be learning to be your age and do homework and change. Life is not easy, when you act up in High School that can lead to a lot when you get out of the partialy sheltered life and Live on the real world. Life is tough you act out at a party when your out of school you'll liable to get the shit beat out of you by someone older and tougher, I won't go Zen on you but same party you don't ack out cause a fight, you might meet the person you were meant to stay your life with. OK lets close this up in review try to observe to find the trigger, ack more mature and be more a good child and student then his raising you form birth to now will be fulfilled and he would have accomplished something Dad's are proud of, I know this is a lot to digest but prove you are a worthy person.
I look at kids who act out and fight when they just get out of school like I was. I was angry and I knew how to fight really good and parents left me juvy for a while and I got my as kicked in juvy and I was this tough motherfucker. I got out finished school and acted much less violent and look at my pictures and I got in the Air Force and became a young man that now has to learn how to live the real world. Life is always not clear in which way you go but if you help it you can end up ahead in life or a waist to society. Thanks Eric P.