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Thread: I don't count

  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    I don't count

    I guess I just wanna talk to someone nearby'ish who feels like I do. I...I don't even know what to say,I guess I'm tired of everything. Feeling alone and like I want to die,feeling oddly optimistic and then feeling nothing at all, it's been years of the same old bull, I want a real life but I know it can't happen, I just can't be like that. It's like theres something missing in me. As stupid as this sounds,I don't feel real,like I don't count. I have to lie and cover up my old scars everyday because I cant face them or I can't handle other peoples reaction,especially my family. I've got nothing and no one.

  2. #2
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    Hi, the first thing to say is - and I'm sure you've heard this hundreds of times - but you are NOT alone. We all have these emotions to a greater or lesser extent, but there's one thing for sure... There are thousands, hundreds of thousands of us, all feeling confused, down, up, optimistic, pessimistic, suicidal and generally lower than the bottom of a cowpat. If you want to message me perhaps we can help each other?
    Best wishes,
    Simon

  3. #3
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    Oh you're perfectly fine. Please don't think like that. You are more amazing than you can imagine. It's just these negative thoughts and feelings that is putting you down. It's just all in the mind and it's not even real. *hugs* . You are real and you are unique in every way and cannot be replaced. I know exactly how you feel like in terms of covering up old scars. You'll be fine. Would love to talk if you want.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by missmoon View Post
    I guess I just wanna talk to someone nearby'ish who feels like I do. I...I don't even know what to say,I guess I'm tired of everything. Feeling alone and like I want to die,feeling oddly optimistic and then feeling nothing at all, it's been years of the same old bull, I want a real life but I know it can't happen, I just can't be like that. It's like theres something missing in me. As stupid as this sounds,I don't feel real,like I don't count. I have to lie and cover up my old scars everyday because I cant face them or I can't handle other peoples reaction,especially my family. I've got nothing and no one.
    im having these same issues and im learning and trying to get over them as we speak

  5. #5
    Junior Member
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    Hi,

    I know what you mean, I've been there before. You're in the same situation I was in: tired of the life you have and wanting to change but not knowing how to. It's like you're stuck in stasis, stuck in limbo. You're missing something important, but you don't know what it is, which is so frustrating that it drives you to tears. So you look around, realize "I don't want this; I hate this" and start to research and research some more. That's how I got out of it really-- I just kept on looking around going "what do I do?".

    I've found that understanding my self better has given me more healing and grounding then anything else. I was lost I didn't know I was looking for my self until I realized it. It was hard because I hated myself or who I thought I was. My shell's attitude and outlook was blocking the real me, and is still, and I believed that it was the real me. On my way I read some really interesting books like "the secret" which helped changed my attitude, and removed the shell (It's a really positive book which I completely recommend for anyone who's been depressed, I say this from how it alleviated my own depression, 'cause it's so positive that you stop being negative-- if you can read it through that is [It's a bit of a drink to take down]), when the shell was removed I was able to start to see me-- the me I had always wanted to be.

    Slowly life is starting to go the way I want it to go. Now a thought or event that would've sent me reeling into the pits of depression and considering suicide doesn't bother me to any real extent. I even have a life now (though it is still small and weak and pretty pathetic... but it's miles better than the life it was and every day it seems to get better).

    It might be that the bit that you're missing, like I was missing, was an awareness of self and who we really, really, really are (I was fooled about who I was for 15 years and am still discovering more and more about me). We really can't make any step forwards until we know what we're starting from right? And when I realized who I was the feelings of loneliness went away, I have me and that's good (after a little while I also realized that I had all these other people too, I just didn't see it because I couldn't deal with them until I dealt with myself).

    pm me if you want to chat about it more, I'm all ears. I hoped I helped, good luck.

 

 

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