Can't stop

[Emi]

Today my mom found out I had been cutting after I promised her I'd quit. She started yelling at me. "You promised me you would quit!" That made me feel forty times as bad. I feel like Ive let my mom down. I wish she would understand that it's not easy to quit cutting after Ive done it for 4 years. I see a therapist once every month. After the appointments, I just go cut more.
My teacher saw one day, she started saying; "Anybody who cuts themselves is stupid and crazy, that's just weird." After she started laughing at me.
The school year is over and I still can't get over her. She makes me so depressed I cut myself.

[Lynda91]

You shouldn't hurt yourself because of another persons words. They have no idea what your going through or why you are the way you are. They don't have the right to be able to cause you pain. When I used to cut I would hide them so no one could see. It wasn't until after my dad found out that I was able to stop. I'm sorry she laughed at you, some people can be very ignorant... She shouldn't have laughed at you..

[Colourgirl]

Hello Emi,

Gentle hugs to you if they feel safe. ((((Emi)))) People who are judgemental of other people's pain show their ignorance. I've been driven to cut during a specific period in my life, and I did it to lash out and relieve my frustration and ask for help. That's just for me. You may be driven to cut for other reasons. Think about what makes you feel like cutting and then write them down. It doesn't have to be all at once... but perhaps next time you are feeling like you need to cut yourself... make sure you remember why... it will be very important for you to know this when you aren't feeling so desperate.

I'm sorry you are feeling so alone and unsupported. I'm glad you are here to post your opinions and ask for help... it means you are a survivor! Find something that means something to you, and make it a mantra. For instance, "Even though I resort to cutting, I still completely and deeply accept myself." The exact opposite of self harm is self care... and even though it feels silly, threatening, untrue, or maddening, say it, and say it often. You will find yourself actually not wanting to cut anymore. What do you think of this strategy Emi? I would love to hear your thoughts!

Take care, and I wish you much gentleness,

Colourgirl

[Emi]

I think I'll try that. Thank you

[Colourgirl]

Let us know how it goes, Emi!

Colourgirl