Today I thought of killing myself. I sometimes do... It usually comes suddenly and I'm never to sure why. Like most times I imagined it out, planning every detail of it in my head. I don't know if I truly came close to doing it... Sometimes its closer then others.
I remember mentioning to a close friend a while back that I might need mental help... but I'm scared they would lock me away. Its brushed to the side with the saying "They would only put you away if you are a danger to yourself or others..." Then laughing. I smile and laugh too, its normal.. a normal person would laugh. We joke around as I let what I'd said fall back into shadows. What if I am a danger to myself... ? No one would really know for sure... I'm not the type of person to tell those around me... None of them know I'm anything but happy.