Im going to get better!

[Sandyclermont]

I went out of the house today! By myself! and I had fun! I actually felt normal! The past couple of days have been so very positive, I have made some realizations and I want to shout from the rooftops, and I just wish I could share with you all what my brain is doing! Literally, anyone who has a problem with this wicked painful uneasiness of mind! I would love for you all to start feeling better too )
I have figured out the negative dialog has been what was defeating me. I would think so negative, and not even realize it until i started writing it down. Now every time my brain tries to go to the "weird" place. (its so hard to describe, but basically its a complete fear of existance) I just tell myself that I am normal, its just the anxiety and I will be fine.
The words I use dont decribe the actual epiphany I have had. The total realization that I am the one who put myself here, and I can come out of it by totally changing the pessimistic attitude and negative self talk.
The other thing I have realized is that I really want to get better! I now know that my subconcious holds onto the negative because I get something out of it. As twisted as that sounds (because it is hell) The anxiety keeps me in the place where I dont have to face the fear of change and I dont have to do things that I dont like, or want, to do. I would like to have a conversation with my subconcious and tell it to stop messing with me! lol
There is a tool that I have been using that I wanted to share also! You know how in the cartoons there is the little devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other?? Well I picture them and the devil is the wicked little negative anxiety thoughts and I visualize flicking him off my shoulder, and it makes me giggle.. (humor is good!) Then I visualize the angel and she gives me a smile and surrounds me in a white light of love and compassion.. It is really helping me.
I know now that I have finally jumped over the barricade and I am cruising down the road to recovery! Im just so excited :lol:

[mettac]

Sandy, thanks for posting some of the good things you have been doing! I like to be able to share in others' celebrations of their successes and it seems as though this qualifies as one for you! It is also comforting and encouraging to me to know that you are really getting to a place you are more content with.

I LOVE your visualizing the angel and the devil on your shoulders. I think that is a great analogy and a powerful one! I may have to try that sometime! I am happy that it works so well for you. Please keep us posted on how you are! (((Sandy)))

Peace and ease,
Mettac

[Colourgirl]

Sandy,

I love your amazing powerful visual!! Isn't it amazing what our brain can do when we harness its power? Congratulations!!! I'm going to try to visualize that devil/angel scenario... and I will let you know how I do! I want to visualize it being me though.. one red me with cloven hooves, and one angelic me in a haloed glow....I'm having fun with it already! Thank you for sharing! So, how long were you outside? What were you doing? Tell me if you have goals set up for yourself.. that's what I've been trying to do! Pls keep sharing any technique that's amazingly effective to you! I definitely can always use new strategies to overcome my outdoor phobia.

Ty for sharing!

Colourgirl

[Nova]

That's awesome! You're hilarious! Thanks for sharing. I'm going to try that little devil angel thing =) Thanks! You're great!

[spirit soul]

Wow.. That's like one of the best things I've read today.. Super awesome. .. I'll try to implement more of that with my mind and subconscious while I intentionally do the right things. Thanks so much for sharing. I'm sure you'll reach where you want to be in no time. And I'm so happy for you. You're truly an inspiration to many. Thanks so much.

[Nikolas]

thank you so much for your post, really inspirational ! GO SANDY !!!!! woooot wooooot