People Liking You

[Undefined]

Hello,
I have social anxiety as well.
I am generally very nice to people, and when I can no longer be that way I become flushed, nervous, and shaky. I just remember that I don't have to say anything, or I remind myself that not everyone is going to like me. Generally, it helps.

[Spice_E6]

I ALWAYS think about people liking me. My thing is not knowing if they do or not, are they sincere or do they just want something. I am friendly to everyone friends with no one. I would really like to have a friend, would be nice. I believe this is stemed from childhood. I had a gf that was friends with me when there was no one else available but joined in the teasing and bullying when she had an audience.

[sweetlee213]

YES! I have always wanted people to like me ever since I was a little girl. Acceptance was all I wanted and during those school years I equated acceptance with popularity and popularity with physical appearance. I was always a skinny kid, but I had glasses, braces, and I was quiet and shy to boot....so popular I was not.

The funny thing is I am well liked by people who meet me. I've been told I'm charming and funny, but that person everyone else sees is a complete stranger to me. When I'm out in public, which is not often, being this "charming and funny" person I am trembling and screaming on the inside...until the booze kicks in. Lately it has been the only way I can go out with my friends without hiding in a bathroom. How do you tap into that person you present to the world? Sometimes I don't feel genuine because I am constantly aware of people around me and I can read them well enough to adjust my personality in such a way that I relate and fit in with them. It's probably why I still struggle with the "who am I?" question and why I am terrified of a committed relationship. I feel like if someone she's the "real me" who in my mind right now is broken they won't like me.

On a more different but related note-A few months ago I began working with a woman who was completely two-faced, passive aggressive, and a control freak. I am generally a follower because of my people pleasing tendencies. This woman turned on me, took me outside and started berating me and I was so shocked, baffled and angry that I could barely defend myself. I recently quit that job, because people often mistake my easy-going attitude as weakness. In some ways they are correct. I'd rather remove myself from a situation than be in a confrontation. My social anxiety makes me freeze up and I can't think in the moment, so needless to say I am terrible at arguing or defending myself.
Yikes...I didn't realize all this until I wrote it here. I'm glad that I found this sight. Voicing my fears honestly among people who understand is helpful.