Biggest Hypochondriac youve probably ever spoke to in your life

[ultimatehypo]

How is everyone today? To fill you in on who I am, I am 26 years old who is in a constant stage of worrying. Mindblowing fear of the worst kinds of illnesses. I have seriously thought I have had cancer of the lymph nodes, stomach, blood, colon, breast, and brain. I have convinced myself that I have Lupus, MS, Sarcoidosis, Sjogrens, ALS, brain tumor, brain aneurysm, and the list can seriously go on and on.

Heres my story. It all started about 5-6 years ago I realized that I have several enlarged lymph nodes. I went to oncologists and rheumatologists all over to get a diagnosis. I have had blood work, ct scans, and biopsies. Nothing comes up as to why my lymph nodes are enlarged. I have no answers. This all feeds into my health anxiety. I am a google fanatic. I google EVERYTHING. I know so much of disease now that Ive diagnosed half my friends and were right on all diagnosis. I have no quality of life. I drive my mother crazy. My relationships with friends and boyfriend arent doing so wel due to my obsession of my health.

I am thinking I am dieing every single day. Ever get that feeling your being followed late at night or you hear a sound in your house and think someone is breaking in and your heart sinks to your stomach? That is how I feel every day all day because I think I am slowly dieing of a fatal disease. My latest symptoms are severe heart palpitations. I wore a holter monitor, had a stress test, and echocardiogram. My next test is a cardiac mri because I cant believe these premature beats are benign. The doctor explained to me that my holter recorded 22,000 pvcs in one day! I get them in bigeminy and he said they are of no concern and benign. After hearing the great news the palpitations disappeared. Then I googled and my palpitations are back with a vengence. I am pretty sure I am now getting more serious arrehythmeias like Atrial Fibrillation, and Tachycardia. My heart flutters in my chest and I never sleep. My school work and job are suffering from this. I am convinced that I have another type of heart arreythmeia. He missed it because i only wore that monitor for one day.

I begin psychotherapy this Tuesday but I feel very alone. I am petrified to live my life. I am constantly thinking and checking my body for new lumps and ailments. I know this sounds so ridiculous and I know I worry to much but I am getting a lot of the sypmtoms of fatal disease so this doesnt mix well with an already hypochondriac.

This is a small part of my history. If you would like to chat please message me. I feel very alone. I am scared to live. Thank you for listening.

[roocroft]

Hi, i'm the same. email me anytime for a chat xxx

[Colourgirl]

Hello ultimatehypo and roocroft,

Welcome to our support forum and chat site! I'm glad you found us, and hope you both have started to PM each other to share your experiences. Please come join us in chat sometime, it's nice to meet other people who have the same fears and are dealing with them on a day to day basis. It's also a great distraction method, helps you veer away from these compulsive thoughts that plague you constantly. Plus, when you are giving comfort to others, for some reason, it's comforting to ourselves. I hope that at some point you come in and chat with us! Take care!

Colourgirl

[patience]

I've been trying to convince myself for the past 3 months I have HiV, oh this week I think I have bone cancer, and I always have heart disease although the tests say difference. whenever, I think about something i stop myself from googling now, otherwise the worry is endless. Don't worry plenty of us in here lol.

[ready2change]

Hi there, it is comforting to hear that i am not the only one with all these thoughts. they are really scary thoughts and take so much of my time. my two "favorite" diseases are MS and hiv, just writing them down here makes me scared. i have been tested for hiv probably over 20 times and they even told me not to go there anymore to get tested. hehe. this all started when i was about 19 and i had a traumatizing experience in life and also i moved away from home to study. i have been going to therapy for about 4 years i think and i am on medication, but still even though i have learned good coping skills, these old patterns of thinking creep up on me daily. if there is anyone out there, wanting to share stories please write me. lets support each other.

[Colourgirl]

ready2change,

Safe hugs to you if they are okay! I'm so glad you are here so you don't feel so alone in your day to day struggle!

Colourgirl

[patience]

How are you doing ultimate I hope you are worry free

[Terry22]

Hmm thanks for sharing this wonderful post really like ur post it is quite helpful discussion in this thread thanks u so much for the impressive post......