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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    2

    Social anxiety is ruining my life :(

    Im new to this website, only just found it but am a social anxiety sufferer and feel so alone even when surrounded by people because they dont understand me or what's going on in my head :cry:

    Im 29 and still live with my parents, never even moved out I cant think of anything more scary.
    I have worked but lost my last job when they had to terminate my contract due to ill health but they were so good with me x

    I am missing out on so much in life, I see my friend's and family's lives moving on and the pleasure they get and Im so envious of them.
    I want nothing more to have a 'proper' life with friends I can rely on but my problems just get in the way everytime making me 'dive for cover' ops:

    I was just wondering if there was anyone here who suffers from the same thing and symptoms who would like to talk x

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Scotland, UK
    Posts
    6
    Hi, all i can say is that i can relate to you, and know how hard it is living with social anxiety, and the struggles we face with it as i have been there myself. *virtual hug*
    I get what you mean with the envy thing, i get it too, sometimes even about people i didn't even like! seeing them going out getting wasted every weekend plus sometimes weeknights too sparks envy in me even though i wouldn't want to partake in that anyway.
    Hope you find some people to talk to her, there's probably a lot in the chatroom who can relate
    xx

  3. #3
    I can help you get through this. If you have any questions, I'm all ears.

  4. #4
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    42
    Now you know why I'm depressed.
    I think of what my future holds and it makes me wanna cry.
    I have no real friendships to speak of except a small handfull, but the scariest thing for me is that I may have to go out in the real world, get a job that isn't just virtual, and just generally live my life!
    There may be a type of avoidance issue as well.

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Queensland
    Posts
    5
    Hello all, I need help. I feel like I could scream. For as long as I can remember I have had depression and I have always been extremly shy I have always had a very small group of friends. In high school I wasnt doing so well so I left half way through year 11, started a course but I didn't like that either. I have done a few other courses, had a job for 1 year, and another for 3 years. Since then I started dating a guy long distance, missed him to much, was really hard flying back and forth all the time, so I have moved to another state in with him, its almost been a year that ive been here, (i've always been confused about what job I should do or what types, i've worked it out) during that time I haven't worked, recently I applied to tafe, did a stat test hopefully I get in but I need a second job which im not sure of, the other problem is, I have social phobia, constant negative thoughts, fear, anxiety and depression- (bipolar depression). which makes it hard with trying to make friends, im trying to make them online, its to hard in person and I have no idea what to say besides hello, how are you?- even then when i do have a chance and its on one of my good days, I say yes ill catch up with you or ill get back to you, then I never do, my mood changes again, it all kicks in, so far i've only made one friend since i've been here and i've only seen her 3 times.

    I feel like my life is worthless, I mean im standing there around people they're talking, I may as well not be there, I may as well be invisible, I dont say anything any way, I add no contribution, when i do say something im rambling, and i rethink what i say over and over thinking i said something wrong. At the moment, I have no job, 1 friend, so during the day, I do washing or try and fill in the day somehow, at night its pretty much the same thing on the net trying to keep myself entertained. Recently i've been looking for jobs, its hard with less experience, I suck at maths to, im no good with money handling, I wouldn't mind being a catering assistant at a hospital again, I did that before. Im going out of my mind to be honest, my thoughts go over and over constantly, I need help to get out of this, (it has to be a deep depression with everything else added,) i've tried a bit a few times, but I dont get far I get pulled back in. I dont want to be like this anymore, i see everyone else living there lives, fullfilling there dreams, they're changing and evolving and im staying the same.

    Thanks to whoever reads this.

    Lauwzs

  6. #6
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Queensland
    Posts
    5
    Now wake up after last night, feels like agony, I just wanna die, having thoughts of harming myself somehow. Cant stop crying, even when I try not to think about it. Im on medication but its more to stop the mania, but not stop the depression so much. Boyfriends sitting next to me being happy, singing. How I wish i could change how im feeling, in this exact moment. Add some sunshine to when I feel a dark black cloud coming over me.

  7. #7
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    819
    Hello Lauwzs,

    I understand going through the good days and bad days. Hang in there. I wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing. Sometimes it's just nice to have someone who can listen to what we are saying, even if it's not pretty... just so you can have a place to vent. Don't give up... depression and social anxiety is all about making you feel more isolated and exacerbating how bad you feel until you feel so depressed you can't move and don't feel connected to anyone or anything. Remember, fighting this is a process. The reason why you have social anxiety is probably convoluted and deep. You won't get over this in one day. I've learned it takes time to cognitively be strong enough to move forward, as well as learn good coping habits that can carry us through when things are more difficult.

    You can do this Lauwzs. Take care!

    Colourgirl

  8. #8
    Hi Lauwzs,
    Try starting a personal journal. Write down issues and feelings. Write down what you go through when you do meet others. Write down goals and how you wish you were different. Doing this can give you a stationary point and stop that going over and over and over things.

  9. #9
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2
    Hi Everyone,
    this is my first time to this website, i just stumbled upon it because i am unable to sleep. i was instantly drawn in by the first post i saw. I never really understood what my thoughts were until i read most of the entries here. Its been strange thinking i was the only one who had these thoughts and emotions, and not knowing if there was anyone else out there like myself. oddly enough my story is not so unique i guess. I am 29 also currently living at home with my parents. i recently left my job in october and decided to work from home due to an uneasy feeling i get when i am around people. most of my life ive been shy and get nervous very easily. when i am thrown into unfamiliar situations i tend to panic and blush. but lately i feel like its gotten worse. It takes me a while to go into stores. i find myself sitting in the parking lot for about 15mins looking at all the people thinking about what they are going to think about me, they are going to stare at me, what if i make a fool of myself, i just don't remember how to function anymore. i lost most of my friends becuase i could never go out on social occasions. even to lunch or out to a party. i initially would say yes, then have a complete panic attack at the last minute and make up an excuse not to go. i feel like my life is going nowhere, i dont know how to change this. i have goals i really do, but everytime i want to start a new venture, these emotions just shut me down again. my days are spend inside my room or talking to my parents. i just want to be able to go out and be like everyone else. this is leading me into depression, i cry at night, my moods are changing, i get angry when i am uncomfortable, i feel like im using the anger as a wall or something, i dont even know who i am anymore. im sorry to just go on and on like this, it just feels good to say it or even type it for one. i cant tell anyone about what i am going thru, its just to embarassing for me. anyway thank you for listening, i wish everybody on this forum luck for what they are going thru. hopefully we can all just find someone to talk to.

  10. #10
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    IL
    Posts
    15
    I've been where you were and about 10 years later I'm in the same position. It seems like everyone else is living and I am barely surviving. I feel mentally sick all the time...depressed. Have you tried counseling? I started a few times and was even able to get past 4 sessions with a counselor I finally felt somewhat comfortable with...but she left the center. It did seem to help. I know I beat myself up a lot more than others, though I've been bullied as a child and there are still grown-up bullies in the workplace. I feel for you. I am going to try to get back into counseling and eventually join an adult face-to-face support group. I think it's the only way to make any progress against the SP monster. Being alone in it all is the worse thing. If you have a physical illness/ailment you get support and help, but having a mental illness is so embarassing and lonely.

 

 

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