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  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    Oct 2010
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    School Phobia and anxiety

    I am new to this forum.I have a child who is very anxious about going to school. Her anxiety builds up before getting into school, resulting in her backing away. She has been referred to CAMBs but have been told by the doctor that this could take up to 3 months for an appointment. In the meantime, me and my family are trying to cope with this anxiety but I get very fruastrated/angry with her, as persuading my daughter could take up to 2/3hours a day and at the end she still doesn't go into school. She says that I don't help her but we have spoken with school, GP and even paid for a private session with a child pyscologist who helped her with breathing techniques and how to manage once she started feeling anxious. She was very positive when she came out of this session, but the next day she went back to being very anxious. I know that she won't change over night, but she just disregards what the lady has told her and places the blame all onto me, as I am at home with her.

    Is there anyone out there who could suggest any ideas for dealing with my daughter when she goes into negative mode? or any professional help in this matter?

    At this moment in time I feel very trapped as I cannot see anyway out of this hole for my family and my daughter.

  2. #2
    Junior Member
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    Sep 2010
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    17

    Re: School Phobia and anxiety

    Hi,
    Welcome to the forum. How old is you daughter btw. maybe you could start her at the nursery school and if it is possible for you to stay with her in the classroom for some time until she gets used to the place and finds a friend among her classmates. You can also probably hire a tutor, somebody perhaps who can stay with her inside the classroom for some time till she gets comfortable and adjusts to a new environment.

    Best regards,
    titorudz

  3. #3
    Junior Member
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    Oct 2010
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    Re: School Phobia and anxiety

    Thank you for your reply. My daughter is 11 years old and she has just started secondary school, all change to Junior school. I stay in school when she manages to achieve a lesson or two, but my problem is getting her out of the house to get her into school. She starts to get negative, I try to divert her but most of the time it doesn't help. Any suggestions on how to get her out of the house to school or how to persuade her?

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Jan 2006
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    Scotland
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    3,575

    Re: School Phobia and anxiety

    Hiya carew

    Firstly a huge welcome to the forum

    Secondly i am sorry to read of the problems your having with your daughters anxiety etc

    Can i ask is she being bullied atal i know from my own experience a few years back i had a similar problem with our daughter the sad part was it was weeks before she told us the truth about a few girls bullying her on her way to school and in school , if this is the case i suggest talking to the head teacher if though this is not the reason she is refusing to go i would have another word with her psychologist in the hope he can hurry along your appoint with CAMBs im not sure what this is but obviously anything to help the situation should be now not three months time as this must be putting a huge strain on you as a mother to

    Please do not blame yourself kids this age can be a nightmare , i wish you well and hope this gets sorted asap



    love dino
    xxxxxx

  5. #5
    Junior Member
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    Oct 2010
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    3

    Re: School Phobia and anxiety

    My daughter as far as I am aware isn't being bullied, she gets very anxious at the whole school experience (change in teachers, different children, change in how the school is run etc). Sorry I mean't CAMHS not CAMBS which stands for "child, adolescent, mental health services", and I need to keep chasing them for an urgent referral.

    Thank you for your advise and supportive comments .

  6. #6
    Senior Member
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    Jun 2007
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    132

    Re: School Phobia and anxiety

    It could be lots of things... Children usually feel most comfortable if they have a routine, that way they know what to expect. Maybe inquire with her teacher what their classroom routine is? Also find out about the supervision of her and her peers while on campus. It may be other kids. Does she have any friends that go to school there etc? We had a couple kids.. as odd as this sounds the principal met the mom at the car and carried them in, they weren't anxious but they would throw temper tantrums. And these were not little kids. 11, 12, etc. Good luck!

  7. #7
    Junior Member
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    Nov 2010
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    1

    Re: School Phobia and anxiety

    My panic attacks and anxiety started in high school, i avoided school like no other! what really helped me was that i had a counceler at the school who i could go to whenever i wanted, somehow found another girl who was going through the same thing, also my mother wrote notes to my teaches explaining my anxiety and told them to let me leave class when i wanted in case i was having a panic attack. That made me feel much less "trapped"

    maybe you daugter(s) would like that?

  8. #8
    Junior Member
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    Apr 2011
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    2
    I have a 15 year old son that has the same problem. He started cutting himself before school...just because he feared it so much. We have been through so much this past year without any improvement. He has missed so much school and has done a few rounds of home bound schooling. However, he is so far behind and the end of school is rapidly approaching. I am unsure what options there are for him. He has seen two different counselors, talked with his school counselor and has been seeing a psychiatrist for Lexapro (which he doesn't take regularly). I see what the result will be (repeating the year) and summer school....and I know this will only make his condition worse. All the professionals that are helping in his situation are at a loss to help him...and I as his mother, am completely heartbroken and feel helpless.

  9. #9
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    819
    dkk566, I can't even imagine having a child with these disorders. I have chosen to not have kids because I didnt' want to pass down my sins like my parents did until I learn how to deal with them. My warmest thoughts are with you and I empathize with your plight. I'm glad you have joined our community!

    Colourgirl

  10. #10
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1
    I have just come across this forum, I am aware almost a year later but would love to know how you have managed this really hard situation with your child, I have a 10 year old daughter with severe anxiety and refusing to go to school, this has being going on since september 2010, it started with repeating a year (her twin is in same class and repeated too but has adapted very well) and 1 week into the new class had a panic attack at school which resulted in her refusing to go the following day, its a long story but in a shortened version the principal of the school refused to acknowleged the diagnosis from a psycologist of severe anxiety disorder, but she did get back to class with the help of her very kind teacher who managed to keep the principal out of it. however the problem returned in september 2011 after the summer, this time I got an emergency appointment with camhs who are now involved but my daughter is still not responding to the treatment which is using relaxation therapy when she is panicking going into school. I am close to breaking point myself at this stage as I cannot see a way out of this. I have asked her if she would like to change school or get home schooling ,she said no she just wants to get back to normal in her own school. I have 3 other children , 2 in the same school and 1 older in secondary school with no problems. I would love to know how your little girl is now and if you can give me some advice

 

 

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