I have just realised in the past couple of years that one of my main anxiety and terror triggers are health things. I have had such severe reactions to nearly all medications, been horribly misdiagnosed and treated by the medical profession I am rightly highly afraid of it all.
My uncle is now critically ill While I tried to pretend everything is ok my mind is here in overdrive all it is in the family and on my mind constantly. Now I'm here on a emotional roller coaster was told yesterday uncle only had few hours left live today he was flown over 500 miles away in the hope something can save him but I'm here a wreck
Due to my stupid agoraphobia I couldn't even go the 25 miles in car yesterday to see him so I bawled to a nurse through hyperventilating please go tell him I love him
Its been one death after another this past year plus before that our son has had one medical procedure operations after another and more to follow plus In the last few months it has been one medical or hospital crisis after another.hubby cancer scare , youngest daughter cancer scare So many drugs and procedures that I would have been long dead with my sensitivities.
Son is ill here again to his breathing again its part of his rare syndrome but it breaks my heart watching him struggle like this for weeks on end
Husbands father just been told he has stomach cancer to
I myself am convinced I have oral cancer due to a white spot on tongue that will not go away and I stupidly goggled it ffs looks same so this to has me freaking out , plus my hair is for somereason still all squint failing to grow at one side i look like a monk ffs i told my doctor all this and he just said anxiety ffs im not stupid i know this is not anxiety it is causing anxiety
I lie in bed 20 hours a day crying because I feel so useless I'm exhausted with panic and fear when I do try stay up I'm so faint etc only sleep on and off gives me any peace
Ativan im on are doing nothing plus doctor decided last week im to come off them
Even before all this this I was anxious
My hearts missing beats my dizziness etc is worse than ever I feel I'm the next to die with all this anxiety etc
I am so frantic already I can't tell what this is doing to me so I am asking others with health anxiety to tell me how this would affect you
Sorry for moaning again it seems it is all i do lately