Hello, let me start by telling you a little about me i am a 21yr old male from a small town in Missouri, i have suffered with some form of severe-moderate anxiety for most of my life. well i just wanted to share some of my experience, I've never been sure of what caused my anxiety and frankly i don't see a need to know what it is because it would just give me another thing to avoid. As for how it started well it was about 6 years ago i was dating a girl who just made my life a living hell "still trying" there was constant stress arguing almost every day and i stayed with it for 3 years now thats enough to make the most sane person nutz. but that was just the beginning. The first panic attack I ever had was at my ex girlfriends house sitting on her pourch i remember my heart just started racing and i felt like i was going to faint i was dizzy,hands were numb arms were numb i just felt like running away but was to afraid of moving for fear i was having a heart attack, now this wasn't a heart attack and i didn't keep me from driving 3 hours from my house to hers either, but it did scare the living hell outta me and then after that one episode i noticed i was almost like being on edge all the time, i was uncomfortable eating out i felt smothered while i was driving and heart racing and just felt scared while behind the wheel and sometimes just for random reasons. well this never went away or got better until i tried my first snri effexor Xr i didn't notice anything for a few weeks but it never completely made me feel good or normal. i was able to function i would say 10% better nothing to big that i would have wrote home about it, i stayed on the meds for the next 3 years and noticed no real improvements was still able to drive uncomfortably and still had some mild panic attacks off and on, now i started to improve was able to drive with out being anxious go places just drive around and hang out then i decided since this clearly wasn't the meds helping i mean it had been 3 years and if it takes that long wow someone needs to make something better lol. now i came off the meds and was feeling great except for the withdrawal symptoms "Brain Zaps" all else was good i continued to stay the same found another girlfriend who was loving supportive and caring decided to move in together all was well for the first year went out watched movies just what i would call a normal relationship, then i went back to the doctor and told her i was still having some problems overcoming this last little hump of just being nervous more often then i thought i should be, well this is where the story goes south ya'all lol. after that doctors visit i was put back on paxil i was none to enthused about it either but figured they new what they were doing they spend all that time in medical school anyways i stayed on the paxil for a week and had another follow up appointment to see the doctor she decided that wasn't the best med for me to be on so then she switched me from paxil to Lexapro within 3 weeks of starting lexapro i was getting very dizzy feeling weak and just not feeling very good symptoms did improve slightly but doctor didn't want to change meds thought this med was the best well another few weeks went by and no improvement called the doctor she changed the doseage once again and soon after i had one hell of a panic attack the worst one i believe i ever had no matter what i did i was not comfortable called the doctor she told me there was no way this could be the meds and gave me the wonderful pill xanax now i know these are very addictive and i was very hesitant about taking it but i did take a very mild dose of xanax and wow i felt good not a care in the world. i then decided to attempt coming off the lexapro because each day felt worse and worse i managed to stop the lexapro but still needed a xanax every now and then to calm down, now i don't know how other people reacted to lexapro but it actually made my anxiety worse then it was before. i then called into the doctors office to schedule a new appointment to see about alternatives to the medication and was then told they were not going to be able to see me at that office because i had a panic attack in the office and they straight told me i was using meth or some other illegal substance when in fact i have never touched anything not even pot. so they brushed me off still not sure why? and from there in a very short time less than 5 months i started to panic about everything minor arguments anything set me off i then began avoiding places and going out i refused to leave my house for 4 months for fear i would die if i left Very silly i know, i then got so bad i could not go to my aunts house which is literally not even 2 blocks over so i went from panic to panic with agoraphobia and that is when i felt like my life was over and the best solution was to end it now i never did attempt it and never want anyone to harm them selves!! but i am just trying to let you know how i felt, i stayed this way for another couple of months and decided since i was unable to leave my house even to go to the doctor to get help i would try another approach. I Bought the linden method now im not trying to sell his products and to be honest it tells you stuff you should or already know but is great reassurance, Sorry for making this so Long! down to the point what i realized is i am a negative thinker and by thinking badly about a situation makes the anxiety worse now im not sure why the meds made me feel so much worse but im not going to stress about it. now i started to slowly leave my front door walking to mail box at first took a couple days to do it with out feeling smothered but i can now check the mail comfortably then i decided it was time to try driving and again i am doing this all on my own i was able to make it a half a mile from my house the first couple times and then i was able to drive out about 3 miles i guess 6 if you count coming home lol also picked up running on the treadmill as well i am slowly making better progress with out the meds and being more self sufficient i will be happy to give advice share any tips and i will try to keep a updated recovery progress thanks and you guys and gals take care remember there is hope
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