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  1. #1
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    WTF NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Well it is me miss moan a lot back but only with a update on my latest if it wasn't so fucking seriously affecting my health etc more it could be made into a blockbuster movie it is so unbelievable

    As a lot of you know I have for three years been totally housebound due to what I have always been told oh its severe agoraphobia anxiety panic

    1. Had tachycardia so severe for over three years pulse constantly well over 140/180 bpm even at rest was told only anxiety beta blockers did nothing find out after pleading be tested for anemia due to heavy periods I was refused for two years on basis I could not be anemic was wrong colour I mean wtf colour was I meant be purple green orange ffs , got leg wound last July that refused to heal nurse came to house dressed it for months daily eventually get blood test surprise surprise I'm severally anemic take iron after a month On them tachycardia goes away , was this a coincidence I do not think so

    2. First home visit at home by a new psychiatrist anemia just diagnosed I'm lying in bed drained of all energy etc cry like a fool out of depression but depression cos of frustration I'm so lightheaded breathless all also classic anemia symptoms to be asked maybe a stay in the psychiatrist ward would help , 200 miles away from my family and handicapped son I say no this was over year ago since then she apologised said after getting to know the real me no way do i need admission to hospital

    3. My doctors horrified says no way do I need a psychiatric hospital she in his opinion was only blackmailing me due to fact I had to report mental health team here after my gp told me to see post here regarding that issue
    viewtopic.php?f=20&t=4498

    4,Every day I become more more weak barely now able get out bed let alone out house due to non stop panic attacks brought on by fainting episodes etc so down the road dottled face dino here went taking more ssri pish meds that made me worse going from one to another not even Valium did anything to alleviate my symptoms

    5. July my beautiful border collie Shane died my heart is still to this day broken over this I cry for him constantly , December oldest daughter left for a year in Australia this I thought caused more panics then end December husband we thought for over a month had testicular cancer and my mother bowel cancer, dear family friend gets killed after being hit by a lorry , all this stress I swear I thought was going kill me of

    6.fast forward two weeks ago by now I'm here barely able to shower put it down to being so bed bound but even in bed the constant panic air hunger fainting continues to point of I prayed to die although I'm petrified of death this I thought was worse than hell still is

    7.I pluck up courage phone doctor told him I need something calm me he says no we have tried that before another gp 2 days later gives me Valiums says this is not fair to let me suffer I got about 2 days release a wee bit on 20mg a day then my gp stopped them again decides to send out nurse to re do my iron levels

    8,Week on doc phones says my irons gone up a little but I really need to go see a gynecologist well that's out question again as how 2 fuck do I travel 200 miles to see him then he says my blood showed I have glandular fever virus levels were seemingly very high and the nurse would be back following week re do them , I Googled glandular fever thought strange I have no sore throat or indeed barely any of the symptoms but doctor says its like that with some so again I lie in bed thinking wtf next then tried be positive thinking ok at last now I know I was not just being a lazy bitch lying in a bed so exhausted but have a virus and in few months will hopefully with as they say plenty rest along with extra iron meds maybe id get out again

    9. Nurses came back I questioned why does the note your writing out say testing for glandular fever they assure me its the levels hoping there going be going down , last Thursday I get phone call to say from doctor Diane its not glandular fever he assumed as 3 or 4 others in town had it so did I instead now its he said a substantial virus the descriptions he went on to tell me might aswel o been spoken in Japanese but one word kept springing up was lymphoma

    10. Cos of my severe health anxiety I phone him back demanding wtf type virus do I have the reply oh one that's causing chronic fatigue I say you saying cfs/ME he says there is no such illness as ME I said we have had this argument 5 or 6 years ago when I was diagnosed with cocxsackie virus 4 different strains of it and I'm not prepared to argue as my twin sister for ten years lay totally bedridden and went down to only six stone at one point only to be told years later sorry wrong diagnoses she has lyme disease and 4 docs missed the classic bullyseye rash that comes with it shes no poor like me and could afford to go private the doc she has is fantastic even wanted her on a TV documentary to highlight how bad lyme is

    11, She decides on Friday to let me know approx four years ago how her doctor a consultant and friend all went to see her at home but instead of asking about her this consultant who I have never met but have heard hes the most pompous arrogant bastard you can meet said to her so are you like your sister taken aback she replied do you mean in looks his reply was a sharp no I mean mental health wise her friend at this stage seemingly said I'm very sorry but I do not think Diane should be being discussed without her permission whereupon he shook his head PS for the record my sister has never suffered any of my symptoms panic etc etc , her doctor phoned her next day saying to her please just lets say nothing to Diane re being talked about as we all know how fiery she can be so she said nothing until now as if that was not enough she got admitted to hospital after this whereupon a Chinese doctor said to her I'm here to ask about your sister my sister said in her head she was thinking what is going on now {shes dosent swear shes holy nothing like me I'm the wild tempered mad woman here lol }as she was admitted for kidney prob due to her lyme disease so she thought shed play this bitch at her own game said no sorry I'm not understanding we might be identical twins but we aint type that feel each others labour pains she then mumbled something about hope your not complainer like her this I'm now realizing was all round time my story regarding GSK seroxat story was in newspapers

    12, All weekend my anxiety due to all this plus anger firstly sister kept this from me for so long and how that shower bastards Imo broke patient confidentiality I phoned got her gp omg I statred off very posh I explained how dare that lot talk about me without my permission etc etc, I said my sister has lyme I have severe agoraphobia heres best laugh he says I cannot discuss other patients that's when my poshness was forgotten I said oh no how very cunting stupid of me yet its ok to fucking discuss me with some has been bastards I don't even know and who don't even know me then I said this is in hands of my solicitor I added also wtf are they playing at withholding I have had this virus over a year also as his partner my gp just thought to recheck my medical notes last Friday oh and how he keeps saying he thinks now after saying last October the shrink was blackmailing me and no way do I need hospital now all of a sudden he says I do this doctor this afternoon said no way do I need hospital he is in agreement with the shrink I burst out crying and I'm ashamed to say I called them all a bunch usless bastards and I added how paranoid I was he was so lost for words when I mentioned human rights and data protection act I thought he had fainted he stuttered some pish then trying change subject

    22mins later he says in his voice still lost for words can we just leave it then Diane by now I was having a full blown panic but trying so hard not show him but could barely breathe thought was about pass out burst into tears and I just hung up what a fucking idiot I am

    I'm here existing not living don't know wtf to do next other than lie in that bed I call my prison waiting to die I'm of no use to no one I have told my sister go fuk herself for not telling me this sooner I have told the doctors basically all to go to fuck to, sorry everyone I'm just so angry and upset im here like i have tourettes syndrome to now on top everything else ffs

    Hope your all well I miss you all in chat and on here but for now no one needs to be reminded every other day of my constant moaning whinging etc

    love dino
    xxxx
    ALL X

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    100

    Re: WTF NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Dino hun I am seriously at a loss for words in regards to this. *HUGS* and more *HUGS* to you. I can relate to the frustration of doctors not doing anything and what not. Love you hun and here for you in any way that I can be. I'll be praying. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    Jan 2006
    Location
    Louisiana, US
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    373

    Re: WTF NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Dino,
    My dear friend who is like a sister to me. I don't know what to say . Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. Miss you and love ya loads!


    Caj
    XXX

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  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Feb 2009
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    104

    Re: WTF NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Dino
    Sorry didn't see your post till now
    Your not a useless. Good for you for standing up for yourself. even though you feel you should have done more.
    Hugh hugs and your missed in chat too
    Your a very good friend to me and always make me laugh and cheer me up so Thank you
    I hope all them bastards get what they deserve for all they have done to you , keep your chin up cause you are
    one in a million and you will come out the other side of all this

    Thumper xxxxxxxxxxx

  5. #5
    Senior Member
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    Nov 2006
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    USA ,,,
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    Re: WTF NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Dino ,,

    Words cannot say what think right now ,, of all you have been through ..


    Know that you are loved and treasurred by many ,,
    Love ,
    Florence .
    xxxxxx

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  6. #6
    Senior Member
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    Scotland
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    Re: WTF NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Here is latest update i'm here only able to get out bed for approx an hour a day some-days i cannot get up atal this head rushes even in bed are scaring me to death and this letter i received on Friday i am now shitting myself there going find something serious as if the anemia is not bad enough now this viral infection to ffs only me


    Then this arrived Friday I will type it out quote :

    Dear Mrs ******

    Thank you for agreeing to your recent blood tests done 26th February 2010 , this shows that the white blood cells which fight infection are once again highly raised .your blood count although is satisfactorily showing that some of iron is absorbing.

    I think next thing to do would be to repeat the blood tests but on this occasion I will do checks on your kidneys , liver, your thyroid and also check for diabetes, I am pretty sure that they will be normal but is worthwhile checking them as part of the investigation into the chronic viral infection

    I will be in touch after I get the results of the further blood tests

    Yours sincerely

    Dr * ******

    The above letter i received a day after another lot of bloods were done last Thursday now just waiting for results and cos i feel so so ill im here thinking i am seriously about die :cry:

    my apologies to everyone that has e mailed me and i have not got back to just to type this im drained of all energy , i hope your all well missing you all

    love dino
    xxxxxx

  7. #7
    Senior Member
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    Dec 2008
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    100

    Re: WTF NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Awwww sweety. *HUGS* PRaying for you and thinking of you hun

  8. #8
    Senior Member
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    USA ,,,
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    Re: WTF NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Dino . .



    It is understandable why you are so upset.

    Know that prayers are sent your way , along with Hugs to last a long time,,

    Thinking of you always ,
    Love ,
    Florence
    xxxxxxx

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  9. #9
    Senior Member
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    100

    Re: WTF NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thinking of you dino. Love you!!!

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    158

    Re: WTF NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    awww Dino:
    u were one of the first chatters I met.
    Remember when I called you a Dino Ferrari?
    GXX
    With the Birds I'll Share this Lonely View

 

 

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