Hello Just because some people don't like squeeking balloons,spiders,noises that chip bags make,criticism etc. when is a disorder become a disorder? I have suffered 2 traumatic experiences in my life and I asked my parents for help(both in childhood). The first happened at age 9 and thinking about it now I still get paralzing terror. Told my sister what happened she blamed me for years and my parents told me to suck it up life goes on. WOW wonderful words for a 9 year old. So I got no help. Then came the nightmares first panic attacks and anxiety. At the age of 14 on a family vacation a sound triggered the first traumatic experience and I freaked out almost lost my sanity. My parents wise words returned suck it up life goes on. Those words never helped!!! So I turned to self harm, pulling hair out, cutting arms and between toes to hurt myself more. I was in pain asked for help and got nothing. Well finally the last cut was to my forehead(wanted to make myself ugly) it was severe and needed stitches finally my parents took me to see a therapist.Well we didn't make it through one session when my mother made us leave. I suffered for years becoming claustrophobic, hate crowds,reoccurring nitemares,panic attacks,anxiety,social withdraw,etc. Wanting some kind of life I devoloped my own coping skills that worked. I met man as crazy as me in high school and we have been together since I was 16 he was 17. We could talk and somewhat understand each other and it worked for us even though we were differnt. My family had some money and his was very poor. My self taught coping skills greatly helped and improved my life. Went to family theraphy when our oldest starting having trouble, I loved this woman and so did my family she was great. Husband outted my phobias and she never judged and let me know that some of mine were also hers. That shocked my husband!! She never told me what disability a suffered from because I guess mine worked for me. my coping skill was any form of a personal listening device(radio cdplayer mp3 ect.) So from the ages of 16 til 41 everything was fine with my mp3 i can function great. Recently work took them away and my psychiatrist say I have PTSD and my Therapist says Social anxiety disorder. Which is it? Both? In 2007 wanting to be normal(no mp3 player) I saw a hynosist and it didn't work. After my 4 visit to the Psychiatrist I opened up some(thought it was suppost to be a safe zone) and he flipped on me. He said if I had this trouble for so long why didn't I seek help. WOW last thing I remember is running tripped over the curb skinning both knees laying in the parkinglot crying like a baby. I really didn't tell him much. After sometime I climbed into my truck and called my husband to bring me down so I could drive home. Is this normal?? Does he think of me as a car payment? Next visit most likely last my husband agreed to go with me. Should I find someone else? confused please help Could it that my company is paying him off???
thanks for reading and all the support
I love you guys