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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    3

    living with this fear

    Each day I see the man I love worry himself into a state of panic. Every single day he freaks out about a particle of air hitting him in the mouth or water splashing him in the face from washing his hands. He gets so anxious his nausea gets even worse yet he does not see it. He thinks every single thing he sees could be V* no matter what it is.

    I do understand the cycle of this fear being so consuming that it controls you. you then get so panicked you make yourself feel so much worse. He says he wants to be normal, he wants to not feel like this. But even while he is saying those things, he allow the fear to control him. He was going to therapy but says it's stupid. Dr. gave him medication but he says that too is stupid. I swear he would rather choose to stay being so consumed by the fear because he knows that. Like he wouldn't know what to do if he didn't panic every day. That in itself I believe would scare him too.

    Guess I am just looking for insight.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    USA ,,,
    Posts
    2,250

    Re: living with this fear

    tedandkim,

    Nice to meet u !!

    I agree with you that it is a real problem . As he doesn't think of the Dr or meds as a help , If he thinks they are stupid, then he has not yet faced the fact that he does have a prob, or maybe isn't ready for the help?? He is the only one who can help himself by seeing DR .
    '
    It is a vicious cycle the one of panic and anxiety .. all u can do really is be there for him. as support , He himself has to want the help, tho ~

    Listen to others comments . This is just my opinion ,, ok , and not a professional here just another sufferer , Good luck to u !!
    xxxxxx

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  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    3,575

    Re: living with this fear

    Hiya tedandkim

    A huge welcome to the forum you will find loads of support both here and in the chat room

    We have a few people here that suffer emetophobia so he is not alone

    Like florence has pointed out he himself has to want the help, maybe the therapist he had was usless believe me i have met a few of them myself that made me worse same with medications i think people like us with phobias so severe it rules our lives we all want that quick fix that unfortunately is not there.

    You sound like a very very caring person that in itself is a huge help to your partner, i hope you both get the help you deserve to get back to your lives being without you seeing him so paralyzed with panic etc and for him to get the proper medication or therapy to overcome his fears

    love dino
    xxxxx

  4. #4

    Re: living with this fear

    Hi tedandkim
    I am new to this site. Everyone is so different it is so hard to put everyone on the same footing, therefore you can't be treated the same exact way the next person is treated and think this will owrk for you. I also have panic attacks...but to try and explain why I htink I have them to someone who hasn't experienced them for themsleves is very hard. I wasn't always like I am, afraid of things... but it just kind of crept up on me. My insight is that if you have a doctor who treats you according to your personality and what is comfortable for you...then you can begin to make things work. It is very hard to trust people and let your guard down. Good luck
    colleen

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    104

    Re: living with this fear

    Hi tedandkim
    I have to agree with what the others have said . I also had the view that therapy meds etc was stupid but it was more to do with how i felt about myself and my issues. Also change can be very scary even though these phobias etc can take control of your life getting help is a challenge and challenges can be very scary we dont always see the outcome just what we are going thru. You sound like a very supportive person which is a hugh help and i hope that you will use this site for yourself as well as your partner because im sure its not easy for you

    Thumper x

  6. #6
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    3

    Re: living with this fear

    Thank you all for your replies. At first the dr. gave him zoloft. He told her that he had been on it before and it did not help. And once again it did not. She gave him some other medication and I did research on it and found it was for bi polar disorder. I too have panic attacks so I tried that one and it felt like my head was erased. Could not function at all. He had told her that atovan worked before when he started getting panicky and surprise it did work. And she gave him kolonopin sorry about the spelling and it worked too. While he was on it he could work through the fear easier. I reminded him to stay with the rational part of himself and not allow the fear to always overwhelm him. He wasn't as angry and he did not freak out as much. We worked through a lot of the other issues he's had in his life he never discussed before I came along and it helped a lot. But now there is no medication. I am going to look into other counselors now.

    It's really bad. He admits he wishes it were not like this. He hates feeling like this. But the fears are stronger than his rational thoughts and they take over. 95% of the day is spent with him being afraid he will V***t. Everything he sees on the ground or on store shelves etc to him is V***t. And we work in a grocery store which freaks him out because people are always around.

    It's been really bad the past few days. And the worse he gets, the angrier he gets and that means no matter what I say or do I am met with that anger. Made him a nice dinner last night but all he could say is oh I'm gonna TU the dinner. I shouldn't eat. Then he'll say I'm always mad at him. Which I am not but I go to comfort him and he pulls away but then he gets upset I'm not holding him. I get so confused at what he wants.

    Grrrrrrrrr....darn this fear.

  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    5

    Re: living with this fear

    Hi Thumper,
    I agree, emet is a really confusing and frustrating disease. I've suffered from this since 3rd grade (i'm in college now), and i guess the best advice i can give you is to be there for him with whatever he needs, but at the same time push him to face situations that will make him uncomfortable. the more he is forced to be exposed to this, the easier day to day situations will be. my mom used to have to literally kick me out of the house to get me to go to school, and as hard as it was in the moment, it ended up being extremely beneficial for me. I am currently attending college 1000 miles away from home, and still living with this disease. I guarantee you that without my mom forcing me into difficult situations, i never would have been able to get here and pursue my dreams. So support him, push him, and love him. You will all get through this.

    Love,

    Allie

  8. #8
    Sorry to hear that.

 

 

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