scream at the top of my lungs

[gizzy]

Hiya all,
why is it that some things are so much harder than others? i have been doing so well lately and as for the panic it really hasnt been that bad, i have still been having the attacks but i have been able to control them so i can get on with things, i have learnt a really great meditation that seems to be calming me so thats good.

But the other day i had to go into town and i dont understand why but i had a complete meltdown, and i just had to escape and afterwards i just felt like a complete failure i mean i was starting to do so well then this had to happen and i just feel like i have stepped back again, i know that it is the agoraphobia and that because the shoppig centre is so big i do feel alot more vunerable, and i hate that, i hate feeling so vunerable that i could cry.

And now i am feeling like i dont want to do even the simple things anymore because i have had this set back, i feel like screaming at the top of my lungs because just when i am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel something goes wrong, i just want my life back and i am the most impatient person and i want it now.
I just want to scream!
luv gizzy :x :x :x :x

[FLORENCE]

gizzy ..

I have been dealing with this for 16 yrs, and am on meds for the same also PTSD . I can say that these things happen time to time. Try to go to the stores in the shopping mall from outside doors.. and leave by the same ones. I myself cannot go out into the main mall itself .
I understand , so plz do not feel a failure. just pick yourself up , dust off and go on again . as in time it will get easier , but it is ok to have a hurdle now and then .
xxxxx

[sunny]

Hmmm, Dr Sunny says you got yourself a serious case of the one step forward a thousand steps back. I've thrown many a tantrum here for the same thing. Don't give up Gizzy. It's a bump in the road, that's all. It feels so huge, but you can pick yourself back up again, I know you can. You were doing it, you were achieving things, and nothing can change that. Dust yourself off and take pride in what you did and don't dwell on anything that went wrong.

To get myself over my fear of the shopping centre I went there every day for a month and walked from one end to the other without actually buying anything. I thought security were gonna pick me up for stalking. It was ridiculous, but it worked. I agree with Florence, it's easier to enter from a door that's not so crowded, and I always avoid peak shopping times.

Know that you're never alone in your travels. You have your friends here silently holding your hand. Hold your head up Gizzy. Don't give in. I have absolute faith in you. Be well.

Sunny

[gizzy]

To Sunny & Florence
Thank you both for your kind words and the great advice, it is really great to know that others have faith in me where sometimes i lose the faith in myself. i know i have to keep trying and not let the small things bring me down but as i am sure you are aware the bad things always seem to out weigh the good things i achieve, but as you say i need to pick myself up and dust myself off and just keep fighting the battle.
but i need to somehow stop focusing on the bad, but somehow it always keeps creeping back into my thoughts, aaahhhh !!!!

Thanks again luv gizzy xxx :? :?

[dino]

Hiya gizzy

I am sorry to read your going through a bad time , i know only to well how it feels like one step forward ten thousand back

I wish i had more advice but i am here a worse wreck than the titanic myself

You are in no way a failure you tried that is more than i do , so big hugs for going there in the 1st place your a fighter gizzy i hope you start to feel better soon , remember we are all here for you

Sorry im no much help just wanted you to know im thinking of you

love dino
xxxx