AHHHHHHH

[Kris53]

Im TIRED of PAs especially having PAs in my house!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was OK today and even only took a 1/2 of .25mgs of xanax. I HATE having to take them when Im home and have nothing to do. Anyway it happened when I jumped up fast from the couch and got this weird pain in my head for a second. Well that was it, put me in a total panic Now I dont feel right, everytime I get up Im sure Im going to pass out and I just feel like Im in a dream and Im super anxious. IM HOME I DO NOT HAVE TO GO ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!! I ended up taking .5 of xanax bc I need to calm down but I HATE that I constantly need them. Its like Im anxious all day everyday and 1/2 the time I dont even know why! I HATE ANXIETY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[margo]

Hi Kris

Sounds like you are having a really hard time of it just now. Anxiety, as you know, is a terrible thing. It feels like it is in total control of you.

I take Inderal for my anxiety. I dont actually know what xanax is. I assume that this is an American anti anxiety med. Anyway, I take my tablet once a day. As soon as I wake up, that pill goes in my mouth. If I dont take it straight away, I start getting tremors.

The anxiety and panic attacks began 4 years ago for me and if anyone said to me that four years down the road I would still be suffering panic attacks/agoraphobis/anxiety I would have said they were lying to me. It seems to come in phases for me and I have long spells where I am in control of the anxiety etc and then i get phases where I dont want to leave my house and lose all motivation in anything. However, thank goodness its the fomer rather than the latter that i experience now and I do hope that given time, the bad times will get less frequent.

Kris, when your brain starts to focus on a 'symptom' , talk to it! Tell it that the symptom that you are experiencing is not life threatening and nothing to worry about. Keep on telling yourself that and at the same time focus on something else, like television or a song on the radio or even if you can phone someone and have a conversation, it can refocus your brain on something else. Give it a try, it really does work!


Margo x

[thelostone8206]

((((((((((kris))))))))))

wish there was something else i could suggest to help. margo made some good suggestions.

oh and margo, xanax is alprazolam. i forget that they don't use our brand names everywhere.

lost

[Kris53]

Thanks Margo & Lost!! The PAs started for me 9 years ago. I honestly did not think 9 years later Id still be feeling like sh*t! Yeah I go through periods where Im ok, but then those rough patches hit! 1999, 2001, 2004 and now are the ones I remember the most. What is Inderal? Is that an anti anxiety med? Im thinking maybe I need to get back on an antidepressant for a little while...IDK.

My Dad (and his Mom) died of a brain aneurysm and Im terrified its going to happen to me. When I was 15 I found my Dad and was yelling for him to get up (he was on the bathroom floor) well he heard me bc the paramedics said he squeezed his hand when they asked him to. I have 3 kids 11, 5, and 3 and it scares me so much that the same thing will happen to me and my kids will find me. I cant imagine dropping, hearing my kids yelling/crying for me to get up and not be able to do a damn thing about it I did have an MRI 15 years ago and it was good and Im going for another one soon which Im TERRIFED theyre going to find something. Aneurysm, brain tumor, MS. But Ive thought since 1999 that I had an aneurysm and was going to drop. I wonder if I'll ever get over that!??!

[margo]

Kris, I am so sorry to hear about your dad and gran. I can understand now why you are in a constant state of anxiety. Its understandable that you live in constant fear that history will repeat itself.

I remember going to my doctors a couple of years ago. I was born with a hole in my heart and I believed (probably still do believe) that the palpitations that I was getting were due to this and that I would more than likely drop down with a heart attack. I have had all the tests done and have been told that everything is fine but there is that part of me that doesn't believe what I have been told. My doctor told me that she cannot guarantee that I, or anyone else will not have a heart attack, so really there is no point in worrying incessantly about it as I am as likely or unlikely to have one as anyone else in the world. She has a point. I still panic a bit when I get a twinge or pain in my chest, but I now try to remind myself that I have been getting these twinges, pains, palpitations for 19 years now and I am still here.

Try not to worry about the aneurism. You are very lucky because you are being looked after by your doctors and getting the appropriate tests so if they do see something then there is a good chance that it can be sorted before it gets really serious. Most people do not know that they are at risk until it is too late. Make sure that you go to the appointment and get the appropriate tests done Kris. I know that it will be very stressful for you but it will give you a bit of peace of mind when you get the results. I am sure that they will turn out just fine

All the best

Margo x

oh forgot to mention - the Inderal is a beta-blocker. It stops your heart from racing when you are anxious and it also controls anxiety too

[Kris53]

Thanks again Margo! I try telling myself I have no control over what happens. What happened to my Dad, no control over it. I see my Dr every year, Im going for the MRI. Ive been sure for the last 9 years I was about to drop and Im still here lol. Anxiety sure does suck though and some days I just cant stop the what ifs, panic attacks, constant anxiety. I am working on it though. Glad everything turned out well with your heart!

[dino]

Dear Kris

Reading your post has me here with a few tears as i can so so relate to how you are feeling my sincerest condolonces to you on the death of your dad and gran

My husband lost both his aunt and only 2 months ago his cousin both to brain aneurysms , i lost my own father and a close friend both within weeks of each other both to heart atacks made worse by the fact they were both told it was only panic attacks but please do not be alarmed where i live is a very small town and the doctors up here i swear are the rejects that have only passed in basic skills nearest MRI machine to me is over 200 miles away and even then we are told we have to wait 2 weeks for a result on anything :unsure:

What i am trying to say is kris imo when we lose somebody we love so dearlly in such a tragic way it is only human that we then begin to think about our own mortality and this constant anxiety and panic then manefests on every twinge pain symptom we get as due to us being hypersensative every pain we get is magnified 1000 times more :mellow:

Thinking of you and please know your not alone and as margo's pointed out looks like you have a great team of doctors looking out for you

love dino
xxxxxxx

[Kris53]

Hi Dino! So sorry for your losses too!!! Was it 2 of your hubby's Aunts that passed away from the aneurysm? And was the cousin one of the Aunts kids? How old were they?

Thanks for the hugs!!!

[dino]

Hiya Kris

Sorry to confuse you in last post one was my husbands aunt the other his aunts niece both were very young

I'm not going to say no more as i wish now i kept my fat gob shut on this as it wasent my intention to scare you in any way

Please bear in mind like i said before where i live the medical care here is a bloody joke eg: when his much loved cousin died only 2 months ago it took the doctors from time of carols collapse four to five hours before realising it was serious before alerting the neuro team which is another 400 miles away to alert the helicopter team by which time it was to late similar c***umstances a few years previously with his aunt

Please i know how hard this is for you and again my apologies if i have scared you like i said that wasent my intention and please know that by the sounds of things you are being looked after by your doctors very well and getting the all the proper tests etc done unfortunately my husbands aunt and cousin did not have that chance :mellow:

to you
love dino
xxxxxx

[Kris53]

Nooooooooo, you didnt scare me! I was just wondering how old they were! You do not have to apologize for anything!!!

So sorry the health care where you are is like that That's awful!