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  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    3,575
    Doctor's comments on patient charts:





    "On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely."
    "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993."
    "Discharge status: Alive but without permission."
    "Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful."
    "The patient refused an autopsy."
    "The patient has no past history of suicides."
    "Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital."
    "Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days."
    "Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."
    "She is numb from her toes down."
    "While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."
    "The skin was moist and dry."
    "Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches."
    "Patient was alert and unresponsive."
    "She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce."
    "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."
    "The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead."
    "Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities."
    "Skin: Somewhat pale but present."
    "Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree."
    "By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better."
    "The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."
    "When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."
    "Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing."
    "The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him."
    "The patient expired on the floor."



  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    England
    Posts
    385
    :lol: :lol: THEY'RE GREAT!!

    IT'S AS BAD AS MY DOC WHEN MY FOOT WAS BAD. HE TOLD ME 'AFTER THE SWELLINGS GONE DOWN ON YOUR FOOT, IT SHOULD DROP OFF'...HE MEANT THE PLACE WHERE THE INFECTION WAS :lol: :lol: :lol:

    SORRY IF YOUR EATING YOUR DINNERS

 

 

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