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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
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    Borrow books in a library
    Order books from a library
    Reading:
    - Memoirs
    - Adventure
    - Poetry
    - Travel
    - Politics
    - History
    - Do-it-yourself books
    - Humour
    - Comics
    - Romance
    Sports
    Medical info
    Science news
    Newspapers
    Magazines
    Cookbooks
    Go to art exhibitions
    Go to the theatre
    Go to the movies
    Opera
    Ballet
    Sports events
    Watch television
    Listen to the radio
    Look for work
    Take some time off and do what you have been dreaming of doing
    Ask for a pay raise
    Suggest or demand improvements at your workplace
    Speak your mind to someone
    Think about 10 things that make you happy
    Design plans to improve something you are not satisfied with
    Say no to things you find meaningless, and do something you want to do instead
    Embroidery
    Knitting
    Crocheting
    Sewing
    Sewing clothes
    Re-sew old clothes
    Make lace
    Weaving
    Mend damaged clothes
    Painting
    Sculpting
    Drawing
    Modelling in clay
    Make batik
    Design clothes
    Take photographs
    Make Christmas presents
    Make your own Christmas cards
    Re-paper a room
    Re-paint a room
    Build a model railway
    Collect things
    Joinery
    Making Christmas decorations
    Making Easter decorations
    Do a jig-saw puzzle
    Play cards
    Play chess
    Play games
    Make an excursion
    Have a picnic
    Go on a boat excursion or cruise
    Go to a homestead museum
    Walk in the park
    Play football
    Go skating
    Go skiing
    Tobogganing
    Play handball
    Play basketball
    Play golf
    Play tennis
    Learn judo
    Learn karate
    Sports diving
    Play badminton
    Play table tennis
    Long distance skating
    Figure skating
    Join a gymnastics group
    Home gymnastics with music
    Ride a bike to work
    Take bike excursions
    Exercise with an exercise bike
    Take a bike holiday
    Jog
    Jog every morning
    Walk
    Climb mountains
    Walk in the forest
    Go Fishing
    Row
    Go out canoeing
    Swim in a lake
    Swim in a pool
    Take a sauna
    Test all public swimming pools
    Organize your household to make it work easier
    Demand that all household members do their share of the work
    Throw away old things
    Tidy up at home
    Re-arrange the furniture
    Wash up
    Take your dirty laundry to the dry cleaners
    Make a list of things to do
    Fix broken objects
    Lay the table nicely
    Fold napkins
    Clean house
    Put things straight and clean up
    Call the job centre and order assistance for your thorough house-cleaning
    Shine shoes
    Listen to music while doing housework
    Iron while listening to the radio
    Tidy up the cellar
    Clean the mirrors
    Work in the garden
    Have potted plants
    Tend the potted plants
    Pick mushrooms
    Pick flowers
    Plant bulbs
    Have flowers on the balcony
    Plant garden cress
    - dill
    - parsley
    - chive
    Go out in the countryside and botanize
    Argue in favour of someone or something
    Say something in praise of someone
    Baby-sit
    Do something funny with your or one of your friends’ kids
    Swinging
    Seesaw
    Slide
    Play hide-and-seek in the dark
    Blow bubbles
    Read fairy tales
    Find a babysitter and do something you like
    Help someone
    Be nice and understanding to someone
    Show your affection to someone you like
    Make a phone call
    Write a letter
    Take care of an infant
    Visit old people
    Talk to friends
    Visit a sick person
    Sponsor a child from a developing country
    Be a Sunday parent to a child
    Plan for a birthday
    Discuss
    Solve problems
    Make somebody happy
    Flirt
    Seduce your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend
    Observe other people’s behaviour
    Get aquarium fishes
    Walk somebody’s dog
    Get a dog
    Get birds
    Get a cat
    Ride a horse
    Cut your hair
    Roll up your hair
    Wash your hair
    Take a footbath
    Take a bath with bath salts and oil
    Take a bubble bath
    Put on make-up
    Have a manicure
    Have a pedicure
    Try some clothes on at home
    Try some clothes on in a shop
    Quiet and tranquillity
    Take a shower
    Get some sleep
    Lie down and rest
    Go to bed early
    Cook
    Plan your weekends
    Plan a party
    Cook and deepfreeze your food
    Plan a weekly menu
    Plan a dinner menu
    Shop by phone
    Shop for food at a market hall
    Drink herbal tea
    Eat carrots
    Eat a melon
    Chew sugarless or xylitol chewing gum
    Cook something new and exotic
    Attend cooking course about healthy food
    Go out camping
    Go window-shopping
    Look at old pictures
    Prepare a budget
    Make an appointment with the dentist
    Look at interesting buildings
    Take a walk the countryside
    Listening to music:
    - Opera
    - Operetta
    - Popular music
    - Folk music
    - Pop music
    - Jazz
    - Classical music
    - Rhythm & Blues
    - Country & Western
    Play an instrument
    Listen to a record and dance alone
    Arrange a dance evening at home
    Go out dancing
    Square dancing
    Whistle
    Dance to folk dances
    Dance ballet
    Dance an old-time dance
    Dance jazz ballet
    Sing solo
    Sing in a choir
    Sing with a songbook
    Plan a journey somewhere
    Solve a crossword puzzle
    Solve a mathematical problem
    Reflect on how something works
    Learn something new
    Join a study c***le
    Join a political association
    Visit a church
    Study some language
    Take a double-decker bus and sit on the upper level
    Choose just one really good TV-show and watch it; avoid sitting the whole night in front of the TV without paying much attention
    Undertake a difficult task
    OTHER


    Learning to love and nurture yourself
    (Excerpt from Triumph over darkness by Wendy Ann Wood, p 243)
    Self-care is hard for a survivor. We often feel as though we do not deserve to be taken care of because we are "awful," "bad," or "rotten." However, self-care is a skill you must learn early if your recovery process is to progress. The reality is, if you did not get healthy emotional or physical care as a child, no one is going to be able to meet your true inner needs now except YOU. No one -- not a lover, spouse, friend, neighbour or even a therapist -- is going to meet your needs the way you need them to be met. Others can help you in this process, but all will fall short of your needs and expectations.
    The goal is to do one or two caring things for yourself every day. In the beginning this may seem foreign, but it soon becomes rote, and you begin to care for yourself -- because you are someone special and you deserve it. The following is a list of self-care suggestions. Some of these ideas may not be right for you because they may contain triggers, so be sure to make your own list.
    Take a long, hot bubble bath; listen to classical music, or light candles.
    Read a special book -- not one for school, work, parenting or therapy -- one just for you.
    Watch old movies, eat popcorn, and drink warm tea.
    Play with your animals; they give unconditional love.
    Reduce your expectations of yourself.
    Invest in relationships when you feel most like withdrawing.
    Focus on the present. You cannot cope with the burden of the past and the fear of the future all the time.
    Listen to special music selected just for your self-care time
    Spend an entire day doing just what you want.
    Allow yourself to cry when you need to.
    Accept that you can't control everything.
    Take a nap.
    Go to the ocean and walk on the beach.
    Get a massage. When that is too hard, get a manicure or a pedicure.
    Go window shopping.
    Allow yourself to verbalise your anger in a way that will not be destructive to yourself or others.
    Set the table with your best dishes, linen, and silver when you are having dinner by yourself.
    Write special letters to long-lost friends. Use a special pen and stationery for this.
    Lie on the couch curled up with a warm blankey, a favorite stuffed animal, and soft music.
    Eat and sleep according to a regular schedule.
    Feeling suicidal
    People who are suicidal are suffering intense emotional pain. They want it to stop. Within the community, depression is usually thought of in terms of sadness, lethargy, hopelessness and withdrawal. This is not always the case. Children and adolescents may show their depression by restlessness, outbursts of anger, fighting or drug and alcohol use.
    Some relaxation ideas
    Stretch up to the ceiling, as far as you can, up on the tips of the toes. Hold for some seconds, and then flop down from the waist. Repeat. Then come up gradually, one vertebra at a time. Roll head from side to side. Roll shoulders forward then backwards. Roll arms in large c***les, forwards then backwards.
    Scrunch yourself up really tightly into a ball, squeezing your whole body. Hold for some seconds, and then release. Repeat 2 or 3 times.
    Lie on the floor or bed, or sit comfortably. Relax your body and place one hand on the stomach just below navel to feel rhythm of breathing - breathe in deeply and out, feeling the rhythmic flow of your breath. Breathe evenly. As you inhale and exhale think:
    - My feet feel heavy and warm.
    - My legs feel heavy and warm.
    - My trunk feels heavy and warm.
    - My shoulders are sinking into the floor or chair, and feel heavy and warm.
    - My neck feels heavy and warm.
    - My face feels heavy and my forehead is calm
    - My eyes are closed.
    Gently come back into the present, by focusing on the breathing, and becoming aware of the room around you.
    Lie, stand or sit with feet apart and hands not touching. Close your eyes and slow yourself down for a few minutes, by breathing a little more deeply and slowly than usual.
    - Be conscious of the tension in your whole body, through your toes, fee, calves, thighs, abdomen, chest, back fingers, arms, shoulders, neck, head, scalp and face.
    - Now each time you breathe out, allow some of the tension to go out of these areas. Let all your muscles slowly relax and enjoy the feeling of peace and calm.
    - Let your mind relax for a while, thinking of something pleasant and enjoyable. Say to yourself 'relax'
    - Open your eyes, stretch slowly, and return to your day, feeling refreshed and full of energy.
    Am I in tune with myself?
    Ask yourself these questions:
    What exercise do you do in your leisure time?
    What physical signs do you experience when you are overtaxing your body?
    Do you have a balanced diet?
    What do you need to change in your diet?
    Do you get enough sleep?
    When did you last 'veg out' with a book, or do something creative?
    How did it feel?
    Who or what emotionally nourishes you?
    Who constitutes your support system?
    Are you able to express your emotions freely, either verbally or in writing?
    When did you last have fun in a social setting?
    What is your 'soul food'?
    How does nourishing yourself spiritually help you?
    Tips for being in tune with yourself
    Feel your feelings, talk about them and then act on them if appropriate.
    Identify your needs and seek to satisfy them.
    Trust your own senses.
    Have lots of fun. Life is for playing, too.
    Tell the truth. Honesty creates trust.
    Know your limits. Delay gratification sometimes.
    Balance your responsibilities. Take responsibility for yourself.
    Allow yourself to make mistakes. They help you to learn, to ask for help and to be spontaneous.
    Respect others. Accept the consequences of your actions. Love, value and accept yourself and others as they are.
    Resolve your problems and conflicts. They are a part of life. Resolution enables us to grow.
    Create a list of things that nurture you
    Consider the following questions and then create a list of things that nurture you - your personal self-care kit.
    A: Physical
    What makes up the physical self?
    What things drain us physically?
    What things nurture us physically?
    B: Emotional
    What makes up the emotional self?
    What things drain us emotionally?
    What things nurture us emotionally?
    C: Intellectual
    What makes up the intellectual self?
    What things drain us intellectually?
    What things nurture us intellectually?
    D: Spiritual
    What makes up the spiritual self?
    •What things drain us spiritually?
    What things nurture us spiritually?
    Create a list of things that nurture you: your personal self care kit.
    Suggestions for ways to nurture yourself
    Reading
    Restoring antiques/carpentry
    Kicking leaves
    Going to a concert
    Shopping
    Walking on the beach
    Doing craft work
    Travelling
    Crying
    Laughing
    Going to the theatre
    Asking for a cuddle
    Going on a trip to a fun fair
    Writing to friends or writing poems
    Walking the dog
    Being in the country
    Playing a musical instrument
    Giving a party
    Playing a sport
    Painting, drawing
    Swimming
    Having a facial, make-up etc.
    Dancing
    Going to a restaurant
    Wearing something that feels good
    Taking regular moderate exercise
    Having takeaway food, so you don't need to cook
    Being with children
    Taking a course for pleasure
    Pursuing hobbies
    Being with animals
    Rearranging your room
    Walking barefoot
    Making presents for friends
    Redecorating your house
    Skinny dipping
    Singing
    Gardening
    Going to the library
    Taking a long bath
    Sitting in the sun
    Watching TV or a good movie
    Baking/cooking a supply of food
    Just sitting and thinking outside
    Taking a holiday
    Being with friends
    Going to the zoo
    Staying at home
    Having a rest during the day
    Going to a park or gardens
    Getting enough sleep
    Doing your hair
    Having a glass of good wine
    Being around positive people
    Playing some music
    Listening to the radio
    Having a massage
    Learning a language
    Inviting friends over
    Doing a yoga or tai chi class
    Watching people
    Giving gifts
    Meditating
    Window shopping
    Tidying your wardrobe
    Nurturing your spirit
    Looking through magazines
    Cleaning your shoes
    Emailing a friend
    Going for a drive
    Buying food you like
    Buying a poster or picture you like
    Having the children minded to give yourself some leisure time
    Doing a course
    Going to the museum or art gallery
    Planning something good for the future
    Solving a crossword, puzzle etc.
    Having a shower
    Going to bed early
    Completing a task
    Ringing a friend
    Going camping, bush walking
    Playing cards
    Going to the movies
    Sleeping in late.

    Meditation
    Meditation is the state achieved from intense concentration on a single object until all other thoughts vanish and all that is left is an intense
    awareness of the object.
    For some traditions, that's all there is to it. In yoga, however, the ultimate goal is a bit more ambitious. James Hewitt, in The Complete Book of
    Yoga defines the goal of yoga meditation like this: 'meditation means sense withdrawal (pratyahara) and concentration (dharana), sustained into contemplation (dhyana), with the aim of triggering a super-conscious state
    (samadhi), which is one of intuitive realization of the identity of the individual soul or spirit and the cosmic soul or spirit.'
    There are lots of other benefits to be had along by meditating. Meditation helps reduce stress and
    anxiety, lower blood pressure, and improve concentration, clarity and creativity.
    However, meditation is not always easy. The
    "fluctuations of the mind" do not like to be calmed. It's amazing how many thoughts, how many stories, how many little movies can run through your head in the space between two breaths -- especially when you're trying to
    meditate.
    Whether your goal is enlightenment, revelation, relaxation, simple clarity or low blood pressure, the process of mediation puts you in touch with
    something good and quietly profound.
    A simple meditation
    Sit in a comfortable position, either in a chair or on the floor, with your back and head straight.
    You can "warm up" with a couple of deep breaths.
    Close your eyes. Breathe through your nose.
    Focus on your breath - cool air in, warm air out. If the mind wanders, gently bring it back to the breath.
    That's it. Start with a 5-10 minute meditation and work your way up to 15, 20, 30 minutes or more.
    A variation that may make things a little easier at the beginning is to count your breaths. Count up to four and then repeat, over and over. You can
    add an "and" between counts to fill up the space between breaths.
    It goes like this: inhale (1) - exhale (and) - inhale (2) - exhale (and) and so on up to four.
    Adapted from section on mediation www.yogasite.com/postures.html
    Breathing techniques
    Normal breathing is slow, effortless, regular, fluid, and quiet with virtually no movement above the diaphragm. Some master breathing retraining quite rapidly, while others may require months of practice. The goals are to change from erratic breathing to slow regular, rhythmic abdominal breathing and to make this kind of breathing automatic. This shift in breathing results in long-term changes in the nervous system and anxiety symptoms. Here are the steps:
    Loosen your clothing (belts, ties, collars, clothing around waist and abdomen). Remove contact lenses or glasses if you wish.
    Lie on your back or in the half-lying position with pillows under your back and knees to relax your abdominal muscles.
    Relax your entire body. Especially warm and relax the abdomen. Also release tension in the chest, shoulders, neck, face, and jaw. Using the upper body’s muscles to breathe wastes energy.
    Place a telephone book over the abdomen (the area below the diaphragm down to the pelvis. Practically, this means putting the book below the ribs and over the navel). The book provides resistance to strengthen the diaphragm and encourages abdominal movement.
    Bring your lips together. Breathe comfortably and rhythmically, not deeply, through your nose. As you breathe in, let your stomach rise slowly, gradually and quietly. Think of your stomach as a balloon easily filling gently with air. Move smoothly into the exhalation without pause. Expiration is quiet, passive and relaxed. The in-breath and out-breath are approximately equivalent in time, the out-breath perhaps a little longer. Transition smoothly between the out-breath and the in-breath, with little pause between phases. Keep all of your body above your diaphragm relaxed and still, moving only your abdomen. You’ll see the book gently rise as you breathe in and fall as you breathe out, while the upper body remains still.
    6. Practice. It might take a few weeks until abdominal breathing becomes automatic. Here are the suggested guidelines:
    Practice twice a day or more, for five to ten minutes each time.
    For the first few days, just breathe at your regular rate. If at any point you feel dizzy or faint, or if your diaphragm cramps, stop immediately. You might need to build up gradually to five to ten minutes over the course of days or weeks, beginning with only a few seconds of practice. Generally, dizziness and faintness result from improper breathing. These symptoms will disappear if you get up and walk (eg. up stairs) to increase the body’s carbon dioxide production. When you resume practice, be sure that you are not breathing fast or deeply, only slowly and regularly.
    After about a week, begin to gradually slow your breathing rate. Perhaps you’ll eventually reach a rate of six to ten breaths per minute (ie. about six to ten seconds for each complete breath cycle). However, don’t worry about the rate. Focus on achieving a rate that feels comfortable.
    After the second week, progress to the seated position, then to standing and leaning against a wall, standing unsupported, slow walking, and fast walking. Remember, first relax your entire body, warm and relax your abdomen, then breathe slowly, regularly and abdominally.
    Try re-breathing in a variety of situations (eg. in bed as you wake up or before sleeping, walking down the hall, jogging, watching TV or on the train)
    As you gain confidence, try consciously re-breathing in slightly stressful situations before anxiety symptoms appear (eg. in a traffic slowdown). Then try it in situations where anxiety symptoms have already begun to appear. Just notice the symptoms. Think to yourself: 'My breathing is causing this. I’m not going mad or having a heart attack. These symptoms are harmless and reversible. I know how to breathe.' Then relax your body, warm your abdomen and breathe slowly and regularly. Watch your symptoms come and watch them subside, like a scientist watching an experiment.
    Do not attempt breathing retraining without first discussing this with your doctor if you have diabetes, kidney disease, or other disorders which might cause metabolic acidosis. In such cases, breathing may have become rapid to normalise the metabolic acidosis, and slowing down your breathing could be dangerous.
    From 'The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Source Book', Glenn Schiraldi

    1. Allow yourself some private time each day, even if it is only a half hour.
    2. Take a long walk.
    3. Buy a bouquet of flowers for yourself.
    4. Begin to develop an intimate c***le of friends and family.
    5. Turn off the phone and allow your answering machine to pick up your calls.
    6. Put on your favorite music, turn it up loud and dance.
    7. Call your best friend and settle in with a hot cup of tea, for a good long talk.
    8. Snuggle up in bed with a good book.
    9. Sink into your tub for a long, luxurious soak at the end of the day.
    10. Indulge in getting (or giving) a massage.
    11. Snack on your favorite "comfort food."
    12. Remember how you felt when you fell in love with your partner and allow yourself to recreate that feeling.
    13. Write a love letter (to your partner, children, parents, friends...)
    14. Treat yourself to a manicure and a pedicure.
    15. Rent a great video.
    16. Start a gratitude journal and express your thanks on a daily basis.
    17. Go to the beach. Delight and bask in the warming rays of the sun.
    18. Visit your favorite bookstore (the one with comfortable chairs and a coffee shop) and spend the afternoon.

    http://www.geocities.com/survivorjourney/Nurture.html


    50 Ways to Nurture Yourself
    By: Helene Rothschild
    It is important to be able to do what you can to feel good on a daily basis. Then you are not dependent on others because you can nurture yourself. When you are self-caring you are not being selfish. In fact when you feel fulfilled, you then have more to give to others. The following suggestions will help you become aware of healthy ways you can give to yourself.

    Put a check next to the things you would like to do to nurture yourself.

    ___ 1. Take a bubble bath

    ___ 2. Buy myself roses

    ___ 3. Take a sauna

    ___ 4. Get a massage

    ___ 5. Take a bath by candlelight

    ___ 6. Have breakfast in bed

    ___ 7. Go to the pet store and play with the animals

    ___ 8. Visit the zoo

    ___ 9. Walk on a scenic path

    ___ 10. Stop and smell the flowers

    ___ 11. Have a manicure or pedicure

    ___ 12. Wake up early and watch the sunrise

    ___ 13. Watch the sunset

    ___ 14. Relax with a good book and/or soothing music

    ___ 15. Light the fireplace for myself

    ___ 16. Play my favorite music and dance to it by myself

    ___ 17. Go to bed early

    ___ 18. Sleep outside under the stars

    ___ 19. Stay in bed all day when I'm well

    ___ 20. Fix a special dinner just for me and eat by candlelight

    ___ 21. Participate in my favorite sport

    ___ 22. Go for a walk

    ___ 23. Take a walk in the rain

    ___ 24. Run on the beach

    ___ 25. Take a scenic drive

    ___ 26. Meditate

    ___ 27. Buy new underpants

    ___ 28. Browse in a book or record store for as long as I want

    ___ 29. Buy myself a cuddly stuffed animal

    ___ 30. Write myself a love letter and mail it

    ___ 31. Ask a special person to nurture me (examples: feed, cuddle, read to me)

    ___ 32. Buy myself something special that I can afford

    ___ 33. Go see a good film or show

    ___ 34. Go to the park and feed the ducks, swing on the swings, etc.

    ___ 35. Visit a museum or other interesting place

    ___ 36. Go to the harbor and listen to the boats

    ___ 37. Have a facial

    ___ 38. Give myself a facial

    ___ 39. Go into a hot tub or Jacuzzi

    ___ 40. Record an affirmation tape

    ___ 41. Write down my goals

    ___ 42 Call an old friend

    ___ 43. Bake or cook something special

    ___ 44. Go window shopping

    ___ 45. Buy a meditation tape

    ___ 46. Listen to a positive, motivation tape

    ___ 47. Write in my special book all my wins for the day

    ___ 48. Gently apply a fragrant lotion all over my body

    ___ 49. Call a new, supportive friend

    ___ 50. Tell myself all the things I appreciate and love about me, and give myself a big hug.

    Now that you know what you like to do, plan in your schedule specifically when you will do the things that you checked off. You deserve to feel good!
    Article Source: http://www.ApprovedArticles.com
    Copyright 2007 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, speaker, and author. Her newest book is, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART!â€￾. She offers phone sessions, teleclasses, books, e-books, MP3 audios, tapes, posters, independent studies, and a free newsletter. www.lovetopeace.com , 1-888-639-6390.

    With love, peace and understanding,
    Sheri1969

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Georgia, US
    Posts
    177
    awwwwww sheri you are great. thank you for posting these. hope those college kids don't bug you too much. can't wait to talk to you again in chat. :P

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    16
    Quote Originally Posted by dnyll531
    awwwwww sheri you are great. thank you for posting these. hope those college kids don't bug you too much. can't wait to talk to you again in chat.* * :P*
    Love cahtting with ya dnyll! You are a wonderful friend!!!!
    Take care hon!

    Sheri

  4. #4
    Solid list will refer to it when im feeling down or bored. Favorited

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    10
    Wow. that's some list. Should keep me busy. :razz:

  6. #6
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    10
    this was an awesome post i will be referring to this one often! thank you!

 

 

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