rants right?

[mondo]

sometimes chat seems to be 80% hellos and goodbyes.
and in between priv talk by regulars.
and its really hard to get into the regulars talk.
i have my social issues
so i know i gonna be anxous and read this tomorrow
and think how could i type that.
i have inveted a few ppl, and i have heard it from a few ppl.
as i did, they feel sooooo welcome when they join.
but then the regular chat starts
and u find no way in...
sorry
rave and rant as it says
and several ppl have dissed this place just cause of what i just wrote.
dont hate me
im ere cause i still like it


scuse my spelling, if u dont understand, ill rewrite

[FLORENCE]

MONDO,,,,YOU ARE RIGHT WE DO SPEND ALOT OF TIME SAYING HI AND BYE,, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE ROOM IS BUSY. I KNOW I FEEL ALL WORN OUT SOMETIMES , JUST COMING IN AND TYPING HI TO ALL IN ROOM. MAYBE WE COULD SHORTEN THAT??? AND AS FAR AS REGULARS LETTING NEWBES IN TO TALK ,, YES I CAN SEE WHERE THAT SOMETIMES CAN HAPPEN , WHEN WE ARE ALL ON A ROLL AND JUST SAY HI WHAT DO U SUFFER FROM AND THAT'S IT :huh: SORRY ABOUT THAT,BUT IT'S GOOD YOU BROUGHT IT UP, BECAUSE IT WILL MAKE US MORE AWARE OF OTHERS FEELINGS ..
YOU ARE MOST WELCOME , MONDO SO GET IN THERE AND JUST START TALKING , WE ARE HERE TO HELP EACH OTHER, AND IF YOU JUMP IN WE WILL BE THERE FOR YOU WE DO NOT HATE YOU FOR POINTING OUT THING THAT COULD BE IMPROVED UPON !!! FLORENCE

[Gord]

<span style='color:red'>Hiya, Mondo.</span>

<span style='color:blue'>No-one's going to hate you for what you posted here about Chat, OK?

And, as a matter of fact, it really boils down to yet another expression of an overall problem with any Mental Health Chat Room which becomes successful and thus popular. Popular = busy. Busy = "noisy", even raucous sometimes. Noisy = people who really need help either don't get heard or feel left out.</span>

<span style='colorurple'>The Problem.</span>

<span style='color:blue'>We have two conflicting forces at work here. Our Chat Room is "for" a kind of therapy, a talking therapy you could call it.

People come in to ask for help, talk seriously about their problems, air them, share them. And hopefully feel better for it.

Other people, or the same people at other times, come in to talk to the friends they have made here. Friendship too is very important for us. It's another kind of "talking therapy".

In a small Room, this isn't usually a problem for anyone. We can "mix and match", Serious and Chatty, according to the people present and their needs at any given time.

As numbers using the Room go up however, as they appear to have done over the last few months, this conflict can become intolerable for some (whilst invisible and non-existent for others) and hence the flood of recent complaints and laments (and occasional shameful personal bickering from a small minority!) from Chat Room users here in the Forum.

This is how I see the problem anyway, and it's unresolvable as things stand. The whole purpose of this Chat Room that JK and Dolphin have established and managed for us is to provide help and support for people with mental problems. Its very popularity is a mark of their, and its users', success. And its very propularity is now proving to be its own Nemesis. Catch-22?</span>

<span style='colorurple'>Solutions?</span>

<span style='color:blue'>Individual complaints, followed by apologies and protestations of "I/We would never deliberately ignore you!" are really pretty futile. Of course they wouldn't deliberately ignore anyone! The kind of Nasty Types that do that don't last long in our Chat Room. They tend to, erm, not come back! LOL

Even JK's well-intentioned and forceful reminders about Chatiquette receive scant, or no, attention at all. Let me remind you all of his last intervention here in the Forum about this problem:</span>

<span style='color:red'>Quote from JK in Phobics Forum April 10 2007:-

I wish people would just read the rules now and again.

The one we like people to stick by is this one, which we think is the main one....

Those in need and/or new to the room take precedence. Drop everything until they are assisted.

No one should ever feel ignored We have always tried to run the chat where everyone feels welcome.

Seems to me lately that one or two seem to be using it as some sort of dating chatroom too. Well, it's a phobia chat room.

End Quote.</span>

<span style='color:blue'>And the thread, in the middle of which this post from JK appeared, just carried on regardless, seemingly ignoring everything he'd said. And in Chat, from what I am told, the same problem continues. Everybody is "innocent" -- they think that because they don't do it deliberately, they are not therefore doing it at all!

Well I for one am prepared to stand up and admit that, however unintentionally, I have ignored people who are, or may be, in need of help. I 've done it time and time again, to my chagrin. And, people, I have never met anyone else in Chat whom I hadn't seen doing it as well! So there!! We're ALL guilty here.

Is JK's "Golden Rule" enough to resolve this problem - assuming it's even possible for us always to follow it, always remember it, always look around for newcomers or "the quiet ones" and for ALL of us (not just one or two out of a crowd of twenty or more) to stop (as in, shut up!) our chattering for a while?

With smaller numbers, yes, I think it is possible. With larger numbers, no. Not a chance, frankly.

The only other option that I can think of, I'm afraid, is to limit the numbers of users in the Main Chat Room at any given time. I know this is technically possible, to set a limit whereby any new "joiners" after that limit is reached are redirected to an "overflow room". Whether this is "politically" possible for JK to arrange with the Server owner, whether he and Dolphin would want to take this approach, and whether Chat Room users would be happy with this idea - I just don't know.

Sorry, everyone, for blattering on for so long. I don't know if I've helped at all with this problem or maybe just made it worse saying all this.

I do know that I love Phobics and sort of feel that it belongs to me, as it really "belongs" to all of us, and it breaks my heart to see people upset, hurt and angry, again and again, about this sort of thing.

Please, let's all begin to make it better - by acknowledging there is a problem, we can move on to fix it, right?

Love you all</span>


<span style='color:red'>Gord</span>
<span style='color:green'>xxxxx</span>

[dino]

DEAR MONDO
I DONT THINK I CAN ADD VERY MUCH HERE AFTER POSH GORD THE GUARDIANS POST LOL (LOVE YE REALLY GORD) :P

I DID HAVE ONE IDEA BUT DUNNO WHAT JK MIGHT THINK BUT A GOOD IDEA IN MY OPINION WID BE IF POSSIBLE TO HAVE ONE ROOM FOR SERIOUS CONVERSATIONS AND PERHAPS ANOTHER FOR LETTING OUR HAIR DOWN ,THAT WAY IF PEOPLE DONT WANT TO FEEL LEFT OOT THEY HAVE BOTH CHOICES

DINO SEES JK LOOKING AT THIS AND DOING THIS TO COMPUTTER SCREEN SHOUTING PISS OFF DINO LOL


MONDO WE WOULD NEVER EVER HATE YOU FOR EXPRESSING YOUR OPINION
SO DONT APOLOGISE OK
LOVE DINO
XXXXXX

[-Meg-]

Hi Mondo,

Good topic to bring up I thought .... I have been in chat a few months now, so feel I may have something to add but have not really known the chat room when it was perhaps quieter.

I guess, like everyone I have days when I like nothing more than to type as fast as I can and just have great conversations w/ everyone! Other days I can't think of anything worse and all I want to do is hide, but feel I still want to be part of chat for it's support.

In both cases there will always be people who are feeling the opposite. This has sometimes been a good thing as it's helped me to feel a little better and forget about 'things' for while. Other time, it is very hard as I'm sure we all find.

Dino - I think that the idea of having two chat rooms could potentially work. I like it My only query would be you may end up w/ ppl in a chat room needing support but no one to support them as they are all in the 'chatty!' room? Just trying to think of a way it could work as it may really have a positive impact on the way people feel about coming into chat.

Gosh I'm rambling .....!!

I'll keep thinking as I'm sure many more will.

Meg xxx

[Rich-Admin]

Hello everyone

Just a quick reply, we have been thinking about two rooms for a while now,

If we did open up another room then it would be for off topic talk only, And we wouldn't have so many rules either,

So people needing help would need to still use the #phobics-awareness chat room, The other room would be where people could chill out and no mention of phobias etc would be talked about,

Still in early stages atm but wouldn't take long to setup, We will need to talk to the other OP's and a few more people first though,

Right off for some food

jk & dolphin xx

Hiyas Mondo

Sorry you have been feeling like this re chat.. know for one im a blabber mouth in thier one place i come in and chat chat chat LOL but i always do try and welcome ppl and even chat to ppl if they need advice so on.. yeh do agree the hi and byes and WB and HB do seem to fill the room to much at times but remember also their is the Pm system if you need to chat to someone on a one to one then someone will be thier for you if chat room is busy but also if you want to say something just do it dont sit back and feel rooms to busy so you cant chat and if it is busy it will be asked to slow down.. Dont feel your being ignored all here to help and support one another

Take care

Caroline xxxx

[jenanne]

Mondo im really sorry you feel like that and im sorry if ive ever ignored you. Youve been so supportive to me and i thank you very much for that. Its always lovely to see you in chat you often make me smile.

When i gets so busy i cant keep up either so please keep coming to chat. And youll need to save a wee dance for me.

Take Care
Love Your New Friend
Jenx

[pokerstar]

hey mondo, looks like your settling in now as Ive had a couple of chats with you, i love your quick wit and friendliness, keep coming back pokerstar.

[DP]

Hi mondo, i can understand what your saying as i have been in this group since day one and can still feel uneasy at times,especially if there is lots of people online and everyone is typing at once. It can make you feel like well ill sit back and watch cos i dont know where to start a convo with this lot.
It's normal and im sure most people feel the same at some point,next time your in chat type in BIG BOLD LETTERS to get everyones attention lol
take care