Hi,
I just started this today after reading. I can share that I have lost a daughter at one year and 18 days old. I know the feeling. Once the most horrible thing happens, you get this fatalist idea...

found this site more by chance than anything else i guess i should start at the begining (with a bang) just before christmas i (we) lost our son (month old) to a "cot death" my partner almost saved...