plz help lil dewey

[dewey]

hi friends-

im going through a relapse with my issues. i was doing amazing for a month. im gonna try to explain myself the best i can, if you read this and want to help,you have to take your time reading, its confusing.

ok im gonna let it all out.

backround:i see a psychiatrist for meds,psychologist to talk with. im on klonopin .5 at night and im on lexapro.

ok now- i am engaged and getting married in july. im so madly in love. heres a quote from EMINEM that explains my feelings "Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for? Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for? When they know they're your heart And you know you were their armour And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'em" so you know how special she is.

last sunday i went to bed around 4 am at my parents house by myself after spending a delightful evening with her. heres where it gets tricky. i had a dream i cheated on her, ok no biggie right? wrong. i am now confused that i have slept walked and drove off somewhere and cheated on her while sleepwalking. did I wake up in my bed? yes but my mind questions it, almost like its trying to erase my memory of waking up in my own bed. i now feel like i have indeed cheated. im scared shitless and need advice from you friends.

I choose to air this out to you all because you all are my friends. even if i havent seen ya in chat, your on this site and struggling with things like me,so there for you are all my friend.

if you have to be blunt or crazely honest i grant permission to post here. thats all i want. thank you all..bless you all.

dewey

[libby]

Hi ya Dewey

I replied to your last post about these dreams on cheating so I won't repeat myself. Personally dewey, I think that you so badly want this relationship to work and that you know you have issues, that it's causing so much anxiety for ya. I think you're putting too much strain on yourself to try and be perfect in this relationship, dewey no one is perfect and everyone's gonna make mistakes and everyone screws up once in a while, I think you're beating yourself up over this dream about cheating, it was a dream and nothing more than that dewey, it doesnt mean you even want to cheat, it means you're really anxious, and may I say that if you hadn't have woken up when you did, you wouldn't have remembered the dream so it wouldn't be an issue ;) everyone dreams on and off all night, but you only remember them if you wake up whilst your in the middle of one :o

Dewey, I wish you the best, take care of yourself

Luv
Libby
xxxx

[petal]

Dear Dewey

I really think that Libby has nailed it on the head. Dewey, you haven't cheated on your fiance. You're anxious because you love her so passionately and you want things to be right.

Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't you just move? I think you did. Anyway, I think moving might also be playing with your mind. Moving is a very disruptive thing and can play havoc with one's mind. It's one of the most stressful things to do.

I think that your desire for your marriage to go ahead and moving to a new place has probably increased your anxiety. You need to be easier on yourself. It's obvious that you love your fiance very much. Just enjoy your wonderful relationship, stay in the present moment with your partner and try to ease off on the pressure you're exerting on yourself.

Try to recognise your dream as symptomatic of anxiety and nothing more than a dream.

I think Libby has exceptional insight on your issue and I would really listen to her words.

All I can say is stay in the present moment as much as you can. Enjoy eating, walking, being with your partner, working, being with friends as much as you can and when your mind starts drifting off into thinking that you've cheated on your partner while sleepwalking, direct your attention away from these thoughts and concentrate on what you are doing, in the present moment.

Your fiance is extremely lucky to have such a loving and committed partner. Just enjoy the love you share and recognise that these disturbing thoughts are symptomatic of anxiety and are only thoughts.

Take care Dewey. We're thinking of you sweetie.

Wishing you all the best
Petal http://bestsmileys.com/flowers/2.gif

[dino]

DEAR DEWEY
NOW THIS IS NO LIKE ME BUT I AM BELIEVE IT OR NOT AT A LOSS FOR WORDS ,ALL I CAN THINK OF TO SAY IS I TOTALLY AGREE WITH BOTH LIBBY AND PETAL ON EVERYTHING THAT THEY HAVE BOTH SAID
DEWEY HUN I HAD TEARS IN MA EYES JUST READING YOUR POST ,YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST LOVING SWEETEST PEOPLE THT IS OBVIOUS IN ITSELF JUST BY YOUR POSTS
YOUR FIANCEE IS SO SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU I WISH YOU BOTH EVERY HAPPINESS FOR THE FUTURE ,AS WE ALL KNOW YOUR WEDDING VOWS SAY IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH
I MYSELF HAVE WOKEN UP MANY A TIME THINKING WHAT I HAVE DREAMT IS REAL I SWEAR IT IS JUST ALL THE ANXIETY AS WE ARE SO SENSITIVE TO EVERYTHING AROUND US
BEST WISHES DEWEY HUN AND PROMISE NOT TO LET THIS DREAM GET TO YOU
LOVE DIANE (dino)
XXXXXXXXXXXX
http://bestsmileys.com/kissing2/5.gif

[dewey]

thank you all!