I feel neutral and it might be fatal

[Distant_Dream]

I don't know why I'm bothering to write this. But I can't sleep, or rather I don't want to.
I think I'm fine for the most part.
I fly into rages when I am by myself. I think of slashing my throat open.
I used to cut my earlobes.
I do not cut on the underside of my arm, it makes me feel like I'm trying to signify suicide.
I don't think I will kill myself on purpose.
I've been feeling the worse feeling of dread in my waking moments.
It's meant for no one.
I like to cut, I like to burn, But I lose interest in it.
I always come back to it.
I don't think it's a problem.
But I stare somedays at those on the counter and of sculpting pens..
I feel mavolent and obnoxious and bloodthirsty.
I know I have gone insane.

[dino]

DEAR DISTANT_DREAM
I MYSELF DONT SELF HARM BUT I AM SO SO SORRY ABOUT THE WAY YOUR FEELING ,I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE SPOKEN TO YOUR DOCTOR REGARDING ALL YOUR THOUGHTS THAT IS YOUR FIRST STEP AS OVIOUSLY YOU ARE NEEDING HELP TO GET ALL YOUR THOUGHTS YOUR HAVING UNDER SOME SORT O CONTROL ,IM NO THEARAPIST OR DOCTOR IN ANYWAY BUT LET ME REASSURE YE THAT IF YOU HAD GONE INSANE YOU WOULDENT BE CRYING OOT FOR HELP IN THE WAY YOU ARE
JUST BY READING YOUR POST I FEEL FOR YOU I REALLY DO AND I HOPE THAT JUST BY BEING ON HERE OR IN CHAT WE CAN BE OF SOME HELP TO YOU
LOVE DIANE (dino)
XXXXXXXXXXXX
http://bestsmileys.com/kissing2/9.gif

PS:http://bestsmileys.com/welcome/18.gifTO THIS GREAT FORUM XXX

[Distant_Dream]

Yeah I told them. I'm fine now. really.

[lostinlife]

hello Distant_Dream

I myself am a self harmer, and have many different ways of doing so, i did go a fair whyle without even thinking about it when i first met my fiance, and it did come back and attack me with a vengence, i also sit there looking at the objects i use very blood thirsty, my heart is with you, it really is agony to know im not the only person to feel like this, myself i hate every part of this and would never wish it on anyone, stay strong in fighting your temptations,

also i would like to WELCOME you to the forum