dewey
09-04-2006, 05:42 PM
hi guys-
I wanted to share my story in a little more detail since im new.
There are times in my life where I suffer from nothing, usually it will last only a few weeks before my troubles begin.
My phobia is aquiring the HIV virus, why? I still don't know. I fear getting the virus in ways that are non-sense. For example, I went to get tested for the millionith time and I got scared that I caught it from a dirty needle used by the nurse. That is just one of many ways I have beaten myself over.
Heres what happens when I go through an episode. I get the OCD of researching HIV case by case for hours and days, I think about it all the time. Which causes anxiety, the anxiety makes me vomit at times.A knot that continues all day and during my sleep. Usually after a week or longer of straight anxiety I break down into tears, I dont have anyone who understands. My fiance' gets upset and mad and is very confused and my parents have no idea why I am this way. I see a Dr. and take meds which only help with the crying break down part, and a lot of the times my mind defeats the drugs as well.
My newest one currently is that I think I have been sleepwalking and having sex with neighbors and contracting HIV. I have no common sense right now, and usually during an episode I dont.
Im a 27 year old male that is supposed to be enjoying wedding planning and hanging out with friends and family, but I am not. I find myself alone,confused,and just sick and tired of this shit.
Well thats my story. I wanted to share it with you all.
thx
Dewey
I wanted to share my story in a little more detail since im new.
There are times in my life where I suffer from nothing, usually it will last only a few weeks before my troubles begin.
My phobia is aquiring the HIV virus, why? I still don't know. I fear getting the virus in ways that are non-sense. For example, I went to get tested for the millionith time and I got scared that I caught it from a dirty needle used by the nurse. That is just one of many ways I have beaten myself over.
Heres what happens when I go through an episode. I get the OCD of researching HIV case by case for hours and days, I think about it all the time. Which causes anxiety, the anxiety makes me vomit at times.A knot that continues all day and during my sleep. Usually after a week or longer of straight anxiety I break down into tears, I dont have anyone who understands. My fiance' gets upset and mad and is very confused and my parents have no idea why I am this way. I see a Dr. and take meds which only help with the crying break down part, and a lot of the times my mind defeats the drugs as well.
My newest one currently is that I think I have been sleepwalking and having sex with neighbors and contracting HIV. I have no common sense right now, and usually during an episode I dont.
Im a 27 year old male that is supposed to be enjoying wedding planning and hanging out with friends and family, but I am not. I find myself alone,confused,and just sick and tired of this shit.
Well thats my story. I wanted to share it with you all.
thx
Dewey