View Full Version : scared to call doctor to get back on medication... scared to tell boyfriend as well..

01-13-2012, 06:19 PM
I was off my medication due to pregnancy but i lost my baby. my boyfriend knows i have been depressed since our lose but i am not making him aware of how bad it is getting for me... I have started cutting myself again... and i am very scared of myself but i NEED to cut... i know if i go to the doctors i can get help and medication can be given to assist me... but i am scared because if my boyfriend finds out that i needed my medication and hurt myself he will more then likely have me hospitalized again... he has done it in the past to protect me from myself... but i don't want to go back there... i know i need the medication but i am scared.... i just want to cut and make everything go away... i want to get the help but i just feel like i want to kill myself so i can be with my baby... i need to go get back on the medication so bad but i don't know how to tell my boyfriend i need to go to the doctors without telling him of what i have been doing to myself... i want the help but then again i do not maybe i should just let everyone think i am fine and the cutting will be enough to help me... but i dont know anymore...

01-17-2012, 11:23 AM
You want to look into getting back on your medication. don't worry about what anyone else thinks, just take care of yourself.

01-20-2012, 10:05 PM
i did end up calling my doctor... but i just cant seem to go get the script he wrote for me... im scared if i get back on the medication my boyfriend is going to start watching me and my moods and actions like a over protective big brother. he means well but im scared... if he even sees one cut on my body after starting a new medication he will think im not doing well and then Hospital here i come....

01-23-2012, 01:54 AM
Well, no one is going to help you but yourself and you really should get the help that you need as soon as possible and things are not going to look good if you are going to delay the inevitable and give it some more lead time to work against you.

By the end of the day, it is your life and you are in control of it. So stand up and control it properly and steer away from things that are just going to worsen it.