Hello everyone

[Dark Horse]

I just signed up, I'm 18, from the UK.. and going nowhere fast.

I don't know what to do, here's some of my history.. I was taken out of secondary school, spent three years in the house basically, which (unknowingly) was wearing me down socially.. Until by the time I could apply to a college course (age 16 in the UK) I was very quiet (I was panicking about getting the bus there in the first place, it's a wonder I made it) and to everyone in my class (teachers included) I was coming across like a boring, nervous quiet kid which I couldn't stand because I knew I had a lot more to offer really.. So rather than suffer that humiliation every day, I left.

Now I am at the age of 18, with no friends, qualifications, or hope for the future and I'm not sure what to do.. I'm stuck in my house and even though I want get better, and go out there's nothing for me to do, and nowhere for me to go.

Sometimes I just feel really down. I used to be overweight, but not any more, I lost weight, wear nice clothes and sometimes think I look good but then I start thinking I'm a freak and viciously focus on my flaws, I feel like no matter what I do people can sense that I'm not normal.

The last thing is that, it's impossible for me to imagine connecting with somebody and being myself with them because it's been so long since I've had that with anyone non-related. It feels like such a daunting task trying to build a social life from scratch at my age.

Sorry for such a long post but once I started I didn't know where to stop, I've never said any of this to anyone, even online.

[gotoverit]

Hi Dark Horse,
You seem to be finding the way to health all by yourself. You recognize you are your own worse enemy with vicious flaws comments. You know, I am also or have been a self depraver if there is such a word, but I really thought on it one time and discovered that it was my way of covering up my superiority attitudes. Which lead to bi-polar problems. What helped was a verse in the Bible...(and I can't exactly quote)...on the day of prosperity remember the day of adversity....on the day of adversity remember the day of prosperity. That has worked for me.
gotoverit

[sharon2411]

Hello there dark horse.. you seem to be such a great person and know what you want in life its just gettin to that point. You should feel proud of yourself for losing wieght and feeling good about yourself at times.. Thats a start! It always makes you feel good when you get dressed up and have high spirits.. even if you dont even leave the house.. I know i have done this plenty of times and then leave and its like im not even noticed out in the world. Deep down inside though dark horse you and only you should please yourself first.. You have to love yourself and be proud of yourself for who you are. People like it when people are proud and positive about them selves. I hope you do good.. Keep your head up and no matter what be proud of who you are, its a start of getting better. Message me sometime I would like to become friends with you.

[rimimik]

Hello every one
I am new member in this forums .
thanks to join me this forums.