08-16-2011, 01:49 AM
everytime i dont hurt myself it makes me want it more, and of course it comes to a point where i cave. but i love knowing that no matter how bad things get i can always make myself feel good, and for that 30seconds everything is okay and nothing matters. i look forward to the high. i want to quit but i just cant. its an addiction i never thought i'd be addicted to. i never thought it would be this hard to quit, but truth is, it is. but at the same time i like it and i dont know why i cant just move on and i frustrate myself because its a cycle that i cant break and its like i know all the answers to my own questions but i'm still confused. i love it, but i hate it. i need it, i dont want it. it feels good, yeah it just feels good. maybe i cant quit because i know that if i'm alone and i can make myself feel good, i'm happy...but in the back of my mind i know i'm not. am i talking in c***les? i'm sorry can someone explain to me why self injury is sucha love/hate relationship? because right now i'm on the brink of running out on this life.