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rangersue
07-25-2010, 07:10 PM
7 weeks ago I had a bad asthma attack. I was admitted and the night I came home I felt I couldnt breathe and if I didnt spit, vomit or cough up I would not be able to live. So for all of the night I kept spitting, vomiting and coughing up what I thought was phlegm/mucus. I now know it was spit. I did it eveyday and I couldnt stop. I would ring the ambulance convinced i couldnt breath and I was drowning. I heard voices, felt noises, and halucinated. I was convinced I was very ill and was going to die. 2 days ago I felt I was paralysed and couldnt walk or talk properly. the hospital did tests and couldnt find anything physically wrong. A mental health nurse then talked to me and I broke down when he mentioned the asthma attack. I was that bad I couldnt even pick up food to eat as I was convinced I would choke and die if I did. Ive lost 16kgs from being afraid to eat for fear of choking. At present, Im numb and Im fighting to not spit continuously for fear of choking, my heart is racing, I feel as if Im not in my body. I have trouble sleeping. I'll be seeing a social worker today to get assessed and get help. Ive put my family through hell and my 2 year old is missing doing normal things with his mummy. Im glad someone has finally diagnosed me. Im still very frightened and its a struggle.

lalm02
07-26-2010, 07:52 AM
rangersue,

It sounds like you have had a terrible time! You are so right, the mind is thee most powerful thing, I am constantly wowed by what it can do for me and against me. However, when we are able to get control of it, instant relief!!!!
I really hope you get some clarity soon so you can spend some needed time with your child. It will be good for both of you!
Just know that I am thinking of you, as are all the other people to read this post!
I know you will be fine!
Leigh

rangersue
07-26-2010, 07:09 PM
thank u for your kind words. i got assessed yesterday and the mental health team will be meeting today to talk about whether to accept me and what to do with me. Im hoping they help me soon as i cant handle this.

dino
07-27-2010, 11:51 AM
Hi rangersue

Firstly a huge welcome to phobics you will find loads of support both here on the forum and in the chat room :)

Secondly i am so sorry to read of this terrible time your going through

I remember a few years ago i was taken to a/e and there the very words you have titled your post "the mind is a powerful thing" a old Australian doctor said exact same to me that words for some reason have always stayed with me

A few things your going through i myself can relate to as im sure others here can also .it is a hell and i hope social work along with your mental health team sort this out asap

Please keep us updated and i wish you the very best in overcoming all this soon :)

love dino
xxxxx

https://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p251/dino_042/Welcome-1.jpg

lalm02
07-27-2010, 09:33 PM
How are you feeling today Rangersue?
Still thinking of you.
Leigh

rangersue
07-27-2010, 10:33 PM
hi dino, ive been sleeping a bit better but i get scared for fear of choking in my sleep. Ive been eating food but i struggle and panic. Im still waiting to hear from my social worker. My husband is very angry most of the time pushing me to 'get over it'. I feel helpless and angry why i cant get better soon. Im trying to gain control but i feel scared and sad.

rangersue
07-28-2010, 12:55 AM
my social worker said that they havent had a team meeting yet. And if i do get accepted which she is sure i will i wont get an apt. Until next week. She recommended i go to my gp to get medication for my anxiety. Also im welcome to come up to the mental health dept if i feel anxious. If im bad enough that i cant drive how can i come up there? Im desperate for help as hubb
y goes back to work on monday and im here with my 2yr old. Ill just have to distract myself. Wish me luck!

rangersue
07-28-2010, 09:58 PM
i saw my gp today she has put me on zoloft. I also heard my social worker i start counselling on monday. Today was a struggle as i had the urge to spit as i was convinced i was choking. I bought 2 colouring books 2 try distract when my son doesnt. I feel it will take time but yay im on the road to recovery.

dino
07-29-2010, 09:24 AM
Hiya rangersue

So glad to see your getting the help you need , i hope it all goes well :)

ps:i hope you do not take this the wrong way but you say in one of your posts your husband is quote :very angry most of the time pushing me to 'get over it'.

perhaps you might like to show him the forum and he might get a better understanding that it is not just a matter of just getting over it it takes time and help as my gp always says to me it is the same as if someone had a broken leg only difference is we are not wearing a plaster cast :x

Please keep us informed as to how you get on at counseling wishing you all the very best here in overcoming all this your going through

love dino
xxxxxx

https://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p251/dino_042/Me20to20you20168.gif

rangersue
07-30-2010, 01:45 AM
thanks for the reply. Hubby is slowly getting used to the idea that i will take a while to improve. I feel im at war with myself today i seem to be continuously panicking. I feel like screaming and crying. Ive tried to have a rest but my heart would race. Last night i had nightmares. I cant wait until i feel better. Thanks for your friendship and advice.

justin
08-04-2010, 06:21 PM
i hope you feel better soon sue i honestly do and if not continue on your struggle to improve.

rangersue
08-08-2010, 12:08 AM
i wasnt just imagining it I have thrush in my mouth and throat but I did have a panic attack when i got home as it felt like a choking feeling. so now Im treating myself and hoping to improve soon. im still being managed for anxiety Im have zoloft and valium when im really bad. thank you justin.Im so scared that i wont get better but my psychiatrist assured me that i will get better mentally and physically. i have my family and friends to help me recover if the doctors helped me with the thrush in my throat i may not have ended an emotional mess.