tommygirl25
07-06-2006, 03:09 PM
I went to the therapist yesterday and thought I would have a good session since they cancelled last week. But when I got there I learned that the doctors had a meeting about me ( the three that are treating me) and they wanted to commit me to a mental hospital without warning. They said that I cut too much and that its not good for me to be at home with my kids. I am harming myself about every 3 days and they think I am getting worse because they are comparing it to the one time that I went for 10 days without it. You all know I have been going through hell lately and to hear this from the doctor really upset me. They saw my wrist and what I did to it and gave me one more chance. They said if they see one more cut on my body they will commit me. I felt horrible when they said that. I had trust in the therapist and now I don't have anyone in my life to trust anymore.I feel betrayed. I know they are doing there job but I can't handle being locked up I would rather die. I am sorry for the way I acted in chat, I didn't mean to hurt anyones feelings, I just don't feel like talking about this anymore, or dealing with it like I know I should. I don't see how they can just expect me to quit like that. This is not that easy to overcome. Its an addiction like drugs and I feel like I am not getting the right support that I need. I just want this all to end and go away, because I can't handle it anymore, now since the appointment all I can think about is cutting every little stupid thing is a trigger, I almost burned the kitchen down this afternoon because I can't think straight anymore. My closest friends in chat I am so sorry, I have not reached out to you and I feel like I am lying to you all when you ask how I am doing, I just feel so empty and scared, really really scared, and I don't think that anything could help me right now and I am no good to chat to anyone. But you all know I love you and I wish the best for you. Please take care
love,
tommygirl25
love,
tommygirl25