dnyll531
11-11-2007, 05:54 PM
Hello again. I feel kind of weird putting myself out here like this but at the same time it feels good. Well i started planning a baby shower for my manager before my car accident and today is the big day. But I can't seem to make myself go. I am so afraid that the moment I get there everyone is gonna start talking about me and trying to ask me what is going on. And I dont want to tell them. They are gonna think I'm crazy. My co-workers that were helping me plan it have been calling me trying to figure out why I dont want to go to this baby shower that I was once so excited about and I don't know how to explain it to them. I have had a few panics just thinking about going out with them tonight. I went to breakfast with my sister this morning and I was so scared but I didn't want to freak her out so I tried not to show it because she is younger than me and I didnt want her to be worried. I have been stuck in the house for two months now and I find the more I stay in the house the harder it is for me to get out of the house when I have a chance. Why is this happening to me? I used to be the friend that everyone else called to see what was going on and they all wanted to hang out with me. I miss that girl. This girl can't even get out of bed some days. Doesn't want to go out, is depressed and has panics constantly. None of these things are new to me but they have become uncontrolable since my accident. The shower doesn't start for another hour so there is still time for me to pull myself together. Let's keep our fingers crossed. :( :P :D