View Full Version : Down the slippery slide I go...(sarcastic yay!!!)

09-22-2007, 02:17 AM
This is a bit of a 'sigh out loud' post and a want of some e-hugs and encouraging comments. I feel like ive been smitted down with this blasted thing again and have a few more phobias on the loop now. It seems at whatever stage ive been at since getting panic attacks and phobias and frikkin agoaphobia that ive never been free of issues, if i face one issue or challenge etc i get fine with it but then it just pops out somewhere else, its BIZARRE!!!! and i really dont like it. Stuff thats not bothered me before is now on repeat in my head and stuff that was repeating b4 is completely fine now - Bloody how am i suppose to work with that!!! Its like playing musical phobia! I was coping really well, i was at the stage where I could go out with someone go into the grocery store on my own (someone waited in the car heh heh) go to doctors, managed to get root canal done **** that was a challenge and a half!!!!! got numerous fillings done, took over a new lease (altho it is only next door to my mum ;) but still was a big committment. I even started dating someone. It seems now tho that Ive relapsed worse than I could have imagined. I had my worst ever panic attack a few days ago, Ive never once called an ambulance and Ive had this for a few years but that one the other day....Crikey ...it was nasty and when the ambos came who happened to be 2 of the spunkiest young male ambos i have ever seen...mmmm guys in uniform...yummo!!! Id have so flirted if i hadnt of been the fool in tears they were attending too!!!! But yes, I felt like a total retard when it was just the mother of all panic attacks. Ive also been putting off the dentist again, I have one last filling and i just cant do it, it terrifies me and it doesnt make sense. I'm having trouble doing all the things I had mastered again and Im feeling really really lousy about that. I feel trapped in the relationship ive gotten myself into and its all just doing my head in all over again. I really need some social contact and female friends to just hang out with and be around again so i can recoup but my handful of good ones have moved or lost it themselves and its just a bit out of my grasp to go out and make some new contacts atm, i feel so isolated which is making me even more loopy. Plus somewhere along the way I have become a food phobe and thats realy throwing a spanner in the works, its making recovery and nutrition a bunch harder than it was b4 and im a sleep phobe - if there is such a thing - now as well. I see a psych to try EFT on Monday so hopefully I can get some of that stuff under control again but my days are just such roller coasters at the moment, it just all feels so hard and recovery feels so far away again :(

09-22-2007, 05:02 PM
Ohh Sooti, that rollercoaster ride is not fun at all I know. But you are taking the right steps and going to see a doctor and just remember there is the uphill rollercoaster too. Keep the faith hun and we are all here for you.


09-22-2007, 07:18 PM
Thanx :) After I wrote that I jumped in my car and went for a little zip around the block, and its not a huge step but i feel ok about starting back at the little stuff and conquering it all again. I feel like i've almost been grieving the loss of my independance again. But I can do this, and I can get it back!!!

09-22-2007, 07:52 PM
:) :)

Sooti ,,, I am sorry you had to go through that horrid panic attack,,,,,but yes of course Sooti you can come back you have before ,,,same thing ,,,,,

Good you are starting with Dr,,, you are already in the right direction!!!!!

Take care Sotti,,,,, FLORENCE :rolleyes:

09-22-2007, 11:58 PM
Hi there,
Sounds like your having a pretty bad trot of late, sorry to hear that. I understand how you feel, its suxville i know. Keep your chin up, iam sure youll do great!! Cheers xxx freaky xxx
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09-23-2007, 07:18 AM
Sooti hugs hun i hate the roller coaster ride but as freaky said keep chin up and soon more good days then bad will happen


09-23-2007, 10:01 AM
Dear Sooti
So sorry to heear that you have relapsed ,i can totally understand how you are feeling as i to have relapsed from being able to go out to now being back to being totally housebound ,enough o me moaning lol ,by reading your post seems to me that you were maybe trying to do a bit to much ie: all the dental visits doctors and shops ,i know that when i was managing going a tiny walk never alone it drained me both pycsically and mentally cos the panic was so intense but i was determined to try and have some kind o life even if it was 5 mins going out shitting a brick lol
saying that i still panic indoors but i really can see from your post you are a fighter you did it before and you will do it again :)
Wishing you al the best and good luck with the EFT i'm off to google it cos ive never heard o it lol :lol:
love Dino

09-23-2007, 07:49 PM
Thanks everyone :) and chuckles Dino, thats how i kept at the exposure by believeing damn it im gonna have some sort of a life even if im shitting bricks about it lol, its been getting into that relationship that peaked me over, and yes i was doing too much, actually tring to go up my old running hill in the bush was the top off point....the learning never ends with this!!! On a good point tho i watched my fav movies all day yesterday and then drove down the vid store and local shops and were panic free!!!! Even if only for the little trip it still felt great!!!!! I'll post how the EFT session goes this arv ...