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Jolie34
07-11-2007, 05:44 AM
I had to give in and ring my Dr to beg for a prescription. (Propranalol) I don't know how to feel about it really, I had been without them surviving on Kalms, Bananas and a healthier diet.

I have had 4 days off work now as I just can't face going outside, let alone cycling to work....which leading up to my days off made me feel breathless and panicky. It feels like I am back to square one again, a bit off stress and I can't cope.

My oldest friend (who I work with) has said she is going to come round shove me in her car and drag me down the motorway. A few other people I have heard have said "Oh she needs to get on with it, she is wasting her life" Even though I know this is true it makes me angry....don't they know if it was that easy I would have done it by now??

Sorry for the rant, I have just reached emotional breakdown point. Feeling very drained and numb. I think it all started again as someone close to me is showing signs of being abusive (mentally) and when I am panicky I just react by crying/panicking. That makes them angry that I don't stand up for myself. Well hopefully the tablets will give me some strength to tell this person to back the hell off!

Well thanks for listening, hope you are all well

Wendy x

jenny
07-11-2007, 08:10 AM
hi.

I really liked what you said on my (first) post the other day so I wanted to reply to you on this one.
I am really far from recovery with panic attacks but one thing I know is that we should not feel bad for little setbacks. I learned more from this with the workbook dialectical and behavioral therapy (for anxiety not for panic attacks but it was a really helpful book).

In this book there is a chapter where they make the difference between primary and secondary emotions. Exemple for panic disorder : the primary emotion is panic, anxiety. And the secondary emotion is to feel bad because we are back in those panic feelings, because we are not strong enough to cope, because people make us feel like failure and we believe them, etc.

So the idea is to deal with the primary emotion and to leave the secondary emotion for later. And the good thing is that even later there is not that much work to do because those secondary emotions are often not based on reality. Those little setback are not always big relapses and we are not a failure because we have a rough time : we are only learning throug those ups and downs.

Ok, maybe I am totally off subject but I just hope you feel less alone. I have gone through those ups and downs thousands of time and believe me you and I are NOT back to square one...it only feels like it.
:)

dino
07-11-2007, 09:01 AM
Dear Jolie
first off im sorry to hear your having such a bad time atm ,like you i am on propranonol but doc wants me off them once i get of my diazapams first i was given propranonol for severe tacychardis due to my anxiety and panic i have heard there meant to be good for anxiety but they do nowt for me i swear my bodies immune to all meds lol :D
ok enough o my moaning this bloody anxiety panic etc is like we take one step forward and twenty back ,im so glad that jenny's posts posher than mine lol :lol: thank you jenny i must look out for the book your talking about :o

I aint very good with words but i try my best to let you know your in no way alone for me my huge achievment o the day was hanging some washing out wanted to do more but i tell myself maybe tomorrow keep on fighting hun hope one day we can all overcome this
by the way was nice seing you in chat last night :)
love Dino
xxxxxx
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Jolie34
07-12-2007, 01:54 AM
Thankyou both for your kind and helpful replies, I know what you mean Dino about achieving things day by day even the smallest thing can make you feel good.

I have had a quick search on the internet for that workbook Jenny, so far only found it in the US version of Amazon. Everything you said is very true, I know that there is no point beating yourself up if you have a bad day/week etc its just putting it into practice thats hard :unsure:

I listened to a tape a friend lent me and within 5 minutes I was really relaxed there is a small clip here http://www.calmcentre.com/sounds/cdfiles/voice.html ('http://www.calmcentre.com/sounds/cdfiles/voice.html') Just the sound of his voice with the music has a surprisingly soothing effect.

As for the Propranalol I took my first one last night and relaxed fairly quickly only for the feeling of not being able to breathe to appear a few hours later. I know the pills are fine for me as I have been on them for 2 years previously. It's all in my mind again so I will persevere and not let myself be afraid to take them. Its a totally different feeling when I panic with the beta blockers you never reach the almighty crescendo of shaking and lightheadedness. And the strange thing is that made me panic more haha, nuts really. I suppose its just become "normal" and when it doesn't come my brain is confused.

I hope to get into the Chatroom a bit more Dino thanks for making me feel welcome :D

Wendy x