Congrates/ DINO

(((((DINO)))))


my dear friend i got wee anxiouse in chat today, but i sure wanted to say

congrates on yas outing, tho yas paniced old cow in front of you hun yas did it :)

i dont care if it was 5 mints away, recall agrophobias a hard thing to just over

come, that step yas took today, tho i am low depressed i wana say, ya sure picked

my day up, hope my friends what yas give other agrophibics :)


loves yas not funny way u know that or u best :lol:

thankyou DINO 4 sharing that, i swear i had old cow last week 2 :blink:

i wanted kick her buggy ffs :lol: hold on yas seat belts 2 lonnies are out ;)


lvs yas friend always cheer

[dino]

Dear Cheer
I kind o had the feeling you were panicy in chat next time your like that please just gi me a pm ok thats a order ,i know how you feel believe me hun i really do

Thank you for my congradulations on my ten minuite outing but boy am i suffering for it now ffs i swear that whatever i have is something more than anxiety and panic to feel this bad
example my day so far

came out in rash all over chest again last night so barely slept :rolleyes:

James wakens lee and danielle at 8am after walking the dog to take them both 26 miles away to see a bloody dentist :rolleyes:

I lie in bed bawling feeling like the worst mum and wife on this earth

Try sleeping so i wont panic so much thinking what if car crashes what if lee gets ill what if what if ffs it goes round and round in my head so decide no point lying here ,go in shower but am so lightheaded i swear all my body got was a cats lick as we say here meaning a fast 2 second dip and dab lol

Say ok come on diane move your fat arse and do something try polishing and hoovering but by time thts done all of ten mins it feels as though i have climbed mount everest ffs :blink:

James then fones to say dentists running 2 hours late ffs ,dogs looking at me by this time as it is usually his time for a walk get angry with mysel say ok put shoes on get out front door try all the positive thoughts to no avail poor fucking dog once again hardly got time to cock his leg for a piss and im shouting hurry to fuck and pee :D

Washing is now spinned and its a lovely sunny day try going oot to washing line again i fail big time cant get breath hearts bursting out my chest :mellow:

Try saying ok ok fuk it it can go in tumble dryer but im so so angry at myself for letting this beat me day in day out :o

James arrives bk home but does the panic lesson no ffs im trying so so hard to just do a simple thing by making him a cup o coffee as he is in sitting room changing lee's nappy and then feeding him so i think least i can do is make him some lunch even though i somehow managed it i swear i was and still am shaking so much how to hell i poured the water oot the kettle into the cup is a miracle

I could go on and on but as im doing this post im still detached shaking etc oh and the air hunger ffs this is scaring me sensless as im convinced i am dying of some heart or lung complaint :(

This is me most days anyone reading this please please let me know if they think this sounds like anxiety or am i losing it big time

Sorry for going on and on and on like a stuck record im just so so petrified im going to die ,i know we all have to die someday i just cant do this no more i sometimes think do i have a personality disorder aswelll as one min im the life and soul next im a pure bitch ,if i ever am to anyone i apologise :o

ffs i have wrote a book just wanted to get this of ma chest and please im no looking for sympathy i just wanted some people know what the day o a loonie such as me is like lol B)

love Dino
xxxxxxx
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u63/Vampire_Freak01/thsad4.jpg

[FLORENCE]

:( :(

DINO ,,,MY FRIEND,, I KNOW YOU PUT ON AS HAPPY AND FUNNY TO COVER YOUR TRUE PAIN ,, I DID THE VERY SAME THING YESTERDAY FOR SOME SILLY REASON, I LET SOMETHING BOTHER ME THAT ,,I SHOULD HAVE IGNORED BUT WE ARE DIFFERENT,,THAN OTHER PEOPLE,,SO I CRIED ALL MORNING!!! THEN WHEN I CAME IN I WAS ALL HAPPY AND UPBEAT ,,,

I'M SORRY THAT YOU ALWAYS FEEL AS THOUGH YOU ARE DYING ,,,IT'S YOUR NORMAL REACTION TO ANXIETY.. SO DINO IF YOU WANT TO TYPE UP TWENTY PAGES TO GET SOMETHING OFF YOUR CHEST ,,THEN YOU DO IT DINO ,,OK??? WE ALL LOVE YOU AND WISH WE COULD PICK THE ANSWER FROM THE AIR , BUT WE CAN'T,,,,,AND MY FRIEND ,,A PURE BITCH ????NO !!!THAT IS NOT YOU DINO ,,NEVER :)

OK I'LL SHUT MY GOB FOR NOW ( YOU TAUGHT ME THAT WORD LOL..) AND WISH U ALL THE STRENGTH THAT GOD WILL GIVE YOU TO GET YOU PAST THIS...I LOVE YA DINO......(bniafw) FLORENCE,,,,

[jenanne]

aww dino hun you did great to get out no matter how far it was you should be proud of your self hun.

love Jenx

Dino hun first off,
http://i198.photobucket.com/albums/aa65/cdn_bluecowgirl/Congratulations%20Way%20To%20Go/12e8b2a7.jpg
I don't care how far you got out hun, you got out and that's amazing, keep that in your head....that was a major accomplishment!!!! Dino hun i'm so sorry that your days are so tough all the time, but you know what I think you do the absolute best you can and that's what matters. Your children and husband know this, they know how hard it is for you, and you are a loving caring person, not a bitch....no way....if anyone gets to wear the horns it's me :lol: :P

As Florence said, if you need to type up a hundred pages to get things off your chest hun you do it, we are here to support you as much as we can, and are always here lend an ear, or i guess in this case an eye! ;)

Dino I think the world of you, and I know that you cover things up with humor, i do the same thing hun, same exact thing, so i know how that can be. But know that if you are having a tough day, you can let us know hun, we are here to help as much as we can.

I haven't caught up with you in chat much lately but i hope we can have a chat again soon, and i'm sure i've said before but i will say it again....if i'm in chat and you ever need anything...ever, i don't care what it is....you can always pm me hun anytime...over anything....

Hugs and lots of love to you Dino
~bluecowgirl

DINO



MY FRIEND whats yas going threw is ANXIETY, hun shortness breath weak, shakey

detached felling/ wich is derealizition , cheast pains , over breathing yes hun its

part of this disorder, o DINO i wish you know hun i go threw the same bloody thing

tho i guess easier for me 2 post the yes bc i am same way , but i bet if i asked

posted this as you did, first thing you say lord cheer it's me same ANXIETY.

BLOODY does 1 number on us hun trust me my friend i go threw it daily.

another 1 is i lie me bed beating the shit out me self i am bad mum, yatta yatta.

hun plz think this hard as it is in CANADA as well another person as you, i know all

over the world many of us, but tell you the truth, we still dont get it,

trust me my friend, i done near every test i swear they come back clear.

again ANXIETY does this shit 2 us, hang in my friend knows i loves yas thinking

of you as well, hang in(((((((((DINO))))))))


o and never yas mind that symathy thing, yas no loonie either ffs u sain i know it

yas as well, we just want answers ffs, dont yas ever thing that symathy thing hun

plz, we just want reasurance.


lvs cheer

[beverley]

:)
dino
i think that you did really well staying on your own while james took lee and danielle so thats an accomplishment in itself isnt it?
also even though you were bad through the anxiety you did and as for the going out even 5 steps away from your home is a triumph and thats the way to look at it so stop being so hard on yourself woman i think you did well and im sure so do many others
so well done
beverley
xxx

[j.a.n]

hi dino,i no your having a bad time with your anxiety and thats all it is your not dying you proved that to yourself by going out and getting home safe,you didnt die just remember that it was a great acjievement for you and im so pleased you did it,im not very good or confident with words i hope this sounds ok,love you loads jan.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[dino]

Words cannot express my heartfelt thanks to each and everyone of you once again ,sorry canna type no more here wi tears welling up silly bag that i am ffs lol :lol:
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u53/h1mrqz/Thanks.gifagain to ye all for your support
love Dino
xxxxxxx